As usual last night, I was ridiculously busy with kidz -

life tip: anyone who thinks that babies and toddlers take lots of time ain’t seen NOTHIN compared to when kids start school. I mean, needing time and attention and, uh, persuasion (ahem) to do stuff like everything they don’t WANNA do. Which is a lot more than not just wanting to take a nap or eat anything without gravy on it. This is not including the time it takes to take them places and get em back, neither.

Where was I? Oh yeah.

So last night was ALDS Game 5 of Tigers vs Yecchies. Because of the rainout on Game 1, neither team could use its ace to starat. Sort of like what happened to (only) the Astros in 2005 because Brad Lidge, unlike Valverde, wasn’t NAILS in NLCS Game 5. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Both teams threw very VERY good pitchers out there – Doug Fister (what a, um, difficult – ahem – name for a boy to have, hunh? My young teenage cousins – males, of course – get all Beavis/Butthead over the name – huh huh huh) vs Ivan Nova. Media was all Up Set about it because they wanted to hand in their already written stories about Verlander vs Sabathia Round 2 and they had to “settle” for having to talk about 2 young pitchers who aren’t STAHS!!! or paid much.

I absolutely hate it when the Yankees win. By the way - I know there are real Yankees fans, meaning the folks who grew up in NYC/NY/NJ whose family had been fans, or the kids were fans since they grew up watching the team. You rooted for the Yanks in like 89/90/91 when they were basically the Astros 89/90/91 with a richer, crazier owner, you are the real thing. I respect that – I do. And those folks are not who I talk about when I talk about hating Yankees fans/Yankees Organization in general. Yankees Entourage “fans” to me are kind of like the party girls/groupies who go to where the rich people hang to try to, uh, party (ahem) with the STAHS!!! – including guys they couldn’t differentiate from dried paint if they weren’t rich/famous. But they want a piece (hahahaha) of that pie (and yes, males are just as guilty of, uh, sucking up – ahem – to money/fame people).

Anyway, I turned on the game (while trying to get kidz to do stuff like homework and pick up their stuff ) it’s at the New Hideous – If You Ask How Much Tickets Cost To See Like A Royals Game, You Are Poor Trash – Stadium. Little Boys – well, actually, not exactly little no mo, suddenly remember that they are HUGE baseball fans and really REALLY wanna watch with Mami. Seriously, these are kids who would watch golf, or soccer, or paint dry if it got them out of having to submit to massive Gitmo-type torture perpetrated by their Mean Mami consisting of making them get their clothes out of the drier and put them away where they belong (drawers/closets – not floor, bed, counters, table, etc) than finishing homework.

Number 2 son announces – hey, no Suck-Stros, hahaha. Number 1 son says – hey, the Yankees, yeah!!! I hit the off button, looked at kids with THAT Look, told them, the other team is the Detroit Tigers and any person in this house not rooting for the Tigers can just go right NOW and do homework. Yankees are better, announces Number One Son, as he sulks his way back to the homework table (where I can keep an eye on kids and watch the game without missing a beat); Number 2 Son isn’t quick to be so mouthy – says, are there any Astros? Yeah, I told him – Jose Valverde, the closer with the gut who did all that dancing and fist shoving on the mound if he closed the game out. Number 2 son picks up the cue, pretends he remembers. ANYthing is better than spelling lists and vocabulary tests.

Meanwhile, the game – Ivan Nova, who is actually a product of the Yankees farm system who wasn’t given/thrown away because he had ANY difficulty in any game EVER (see, for example, Ian Kennedy) and a rookie who had an outstanding year, given the team he pitches for and the enormous burden of expectation of perfection, is pitching. He gets (ex-Yankee) Austin Jackson swinging on 4 pitches, then 31 year old utility guy Don Kelly (never heard of him before, but then again, I seldom watch DH-tainted pretending to be Real Baseball type games) takes an impossible strike, then hammers the next one, a hanging curve, over the RF wall. Hardly a moon shot, but hey, it’s a good sign all right. Very next pitch is a nice high FB and Delmon Young (more on him in a sec) hammers it to the upper deck in left.

7 pitches, 2-0 Tigers.

WOW, says #2 son. Number 1 son has already run over from his homework (any excuse will do, I told you) and number 3 son even comes over to check it out. Is he an Astro asks #3.

Nope, I told him. He was a big shot and he KNEW it – first guy picked the year you were born (03). He was 18, thought his excrement had no odor (translation for G-rating) and had additude all though the minors, and was kept there an extra year so as he might could learn to not act like a complete, uh, jerk. He came up when you were 3, hit pretty well, and the next year, in spite of not hitting or fielding well for a left fielder (91 OPS+) was second in the ROY voting. But he was 21, acting like 13, wasn’t a real too particular good fielder and he mouthed off too much to coaches trying to help him, so his whining ass got traded to Minnesota for a decent pitcher, Matt Garza. Minnesota had plenty of pitchers, they thought – although it really is true that you can’t really never have too much pitching, and they wanted an outfield bat. But Delmon was not even average for his first 2 years, then had his first good year hitting last year. And when he didn’t do well this year, and his team didn’t do well because their 2 best hitters were out sick almost all year, he got traded to Detroit for a couple of minor leaguers. Sort of a kick in the pants, you feelin me here?

Like Hunter Pence to the Phillies, only Hunter was a GOOD ballplayer and Delmon was not (the kids liked Hunter, and like most Astros fans, were ANGRY when Pence and Bourn were given away – I mean traded).

Anyway, Delmon did OK after the trade, so maybe he had grown up enough to understand that this was his Last Chance to behave.

Said calmly, not pointedly – just kind of offhand so as they could pretend they didn’t really hear even though they sure nuff did

After the inning was over, I shut the TV off – told the kidz they HAD to do homework first, Which was true, but a whole lot of me was afraid that Fister would go all Brett Myers in his half of the inning. I mean, with the baseball (hahaha). Yes, I love puns.

Went back to sneak a peek at the top of the 3rd, saw the score was still 2-0 and was really surprised to see Phil Hughes pitching. Checked out Gameday quickly, and Nova gave up a double, a groundout to second, a groundout to third and a 3-2 K – 10 pitches. I figured he must have been hurt, although the announcers didn’t say (and I try to keep the mute on as much as possible because I’ve been too spoiled by Brownie and JD to descend to the level of what passes for network announcers) but I considered it a very good omen. Not that I want someone to be injured, but that maybe guys who weren’t relievers would not do well relieving. No Scott Proctering though.

Fister lasted through 5 – had runners on in every inning but the second, included bases loaded 1 out in the 4th – but got the next 2 outs to strand em all. Gave up only a solo homer to Cano, now the best hitter on the Yankees, Jeter Worshippers notwithstanding.

Phil Hughes pitched 2 innings, then “ace” CC Sabathia came in to pitch the 5th with the score 2-1. He gave up a double to Jackson, the leadoff guy, got 2 swinging Ks, then, to my utter shock, he was told to IBB Miguel Cabrera to pitch to Victor Martinez. I mean, it was like watching Millsie-poo. WHY??? WHY!!!!! would your ace – your ACE, who is not tired, be instructed to intentionally walk a batter in his FIRST inning of work with 2 outs, man on second??? Cabrera is a great hitter, but Martinez isn’t exactly Mendoza. It’s one thing to IBB Cabrera to face a really tough lefty hitter, but another good righty? Your ACE??? Could it be deciding based on small sample size matchups of 5 fer 26 vs 9 fer 16? I think that throwing pitches out of the strike zone on purpose when the pitcher is going to be facing a GOOD hitter isn’t the smartest, and sure enough, Victor Martinez hits a single to center, scoring the run – Jackson was almost to third before the ball landed and no one could have thrown him out. Los Tigres 3 – 1.

Turned the TV off, made the kids go to bed – skool tomorrow, bus comes early, and it’s not the Astros.

Don Kelly, you know, the nobody utility guy who hit the first homer int he 1st, was switched to right, and in the 8th, he caught His Jeteriness’ long fly ball to the warning track. “Captain Clutch” and His Intangibles didn’t show up tonight – in fact, the Greatest Yankee EVAH!!!, well, except for The Great Mariano and His 600 saves- and yes, I am certainly including Ruth, Gehrig and Mantle who played Back Then when nobody realized that closer are far more important to the team that any guy who plays every day, had a .572 OPS for the 5 game series, 5 singles, 1 walk, a double, 2 RBIs – both in Game 4 with the 10-1 score, 1 stolen base and a grand total of 6 runs scored.

Anyway, Valverde comes in to close out the 3-2 game in the 9th as Husband and I sit to rootrootroot for the Ex-Stro and he mows down the heart of the Yankee lineup – Granderson, Cano and Alex Rodriguez, who hasn’t played a full year’s game since 07, and it’s 6 more years of 32 mill a year, too. And I keep yelling about the Clank deal…

So the Two Pimped Teams (yeah, I know the RedSux got eliminated on the last day of the season) are already out of it and all the network guys are screaming in agony. You spend all your airtime pimping pretty much only The Two Teams That Matter and after they are gone, mainstream fans are like – well, if the other series go to gave 7, we’ll tune in, maybe, to watch the Game 7 between the iforgetwhos. I mean, I know youse Network guys mention some other teams now and then so there must be some others and guess they hafta play SOMEone.

So Husband looks at me – says – you look like the cat who got into the cream (more on that later) and you know that Detroit got a BIG payroll, too. I said – yeah, but they play in like the 3rd most economically depressed city in the country – you talk about a bad market, and their owner spends money and puts a good team on the field. And somehow, they pack the place. So you gotta tip your cap.

I know all yall gonna ask if I’m gonna root for the Nolan Ryans vs the Tigers and I’m gonna tell you that I don’t care, really. Me, I’m pulling for the NL team and deciding which one (before tonight’s game) is tough. I would dearly love to see Lance get a Ring, but that means rooting for Uncle and TLR (shudder). I would dearly love to see Pence and Oswalt get a Ring – yeah, Roy is just about done for, but still, after all those years of ace-hood here, I’d still like it – in spite of having to root for The Big Money Team NL version. I’m kind of torn about the Brewers – I LUUUUVVVV Da Prince when he’s not facing us, but then again, I’d rather they or the Dbax move to the AL instead of us, and if one of em win a WS, gonna be tougher to have any leg to stand on, especially as the Astros now look like Pirates after 92 version 2.0…

The cat. Gotta tell all yall bout that (especially remembering Phat Stuff Dog and his incredible effect on the Astros run to the finish line 6 weeks before the end of the 04 season…)

I don’t like cats, never did, but my not like was seriously re-enforced bout the time I was 10 and was over at a friend’s and their cat jumped out from under a table as I was walking by and bit me on the ankle. I screamed so loud you coulda heard me in Pasadena and of course, I had to take icky medicine and get a shot. Since then, I get shut of cats. But the day before yesterday, I was sitting outside at a table with a couple of gf and suddenly, like out of nowhere, this cat materialized out of thin air (it’s what they do) and jumped up on the table.

He was a biggish tom, looked like a Siamese, only instead of light brown fur with dark brown ears and tail, I swear to God he had red, yes, red edges to his ears and tail (must have had some ancestor who is a ginger cat or something). We’d finished eating, so there wasn’t much of anything left except a few scraps of bread and fries, and in spite of the fact that he’s pretty scrawny, no collar or tag, he ignored the food, picked his way across the table, sat down in front of me and started with all this miaowing, caterwauling. I never heard a cat make so much noise, but I guess it’s the Siamese Cat way of life.

He’s sitting right in front of me, staring at me, and for some reason, instead of, I don’t know, just getting up before I got jumped on or scratched or whatever, I said, right to him, and don’t ask me why I was talking to a cat like he’s a Dog, because I don’t know why - I said, “I don’t like cats so GO AWAY!!!!”. But he didn’t move, just started up with a few miaows. So I glared at the cat and said – like, what, are you a Yankees fan or something? And he gave me one of those cat hisses showing his teeth, got up, jumped down and stalked away. It was to laugh.

So I took that as a good sign for the Tigers, you know what I’m sayin.

And in case you’re curious bout what happened to that cat, well, after we got up to go, I noticed him over with one of my gf at her car, him all rubbing up against her ankles, and all caterwaulin – never shut up for a second, and yeah, the little loudmouth SOB got hisself picked up and taken home.

Guess El Tigre knows how to play…