Gloriously lying at the very bottom of the heap at 9-24, envied by the Lorias, 2 games ahead, and the Cubs, 4 games ahead, the Astros Organization has sent Future Ace Brad Peacock to AAA to suck there while bringing up Jordan Lyles and his 5+ ERA at AAA to start – you see, he has been Tagged For Suck-cess. They sent Erik Bedard and his 8+ ERA (starting) back to the bullpen, haven’t said what they are going to do with Phil Humber and his 9+ ERA – probably a 9 ERA+ if it is even positive, which is doubtful. Rhiner Cruz went to AAA, which, by the way, he skipped because of being a Rule V last year, to re-locate his pitches.
To my surprise, they dumped Fernando EFF Martinez, his limp bat, dead weight legs and crappy glove. To my shock, they DFAd Rick Ankiel, Mr. Veteran Presence and his umpty strikeouts. He had the 4th highest OPS on the entire TEAM, which tells you where that team at. Brandon Laird got sent down, not DFAd, seeing as how he didn’t hit like Barry Lamar 2004 in his 28 at bats. At least he wasn’t released.
Trevor Crowe, who appears to be another AAAA guy, got called up, along with Jimmy Paredes, tearing up AAA pitching and, uh, “weak” on defense, and Julio Daniel Martinez, back off the DL.
You ask me how I know this stuff seeing as how I don’t care no mo. Well, it was on the Inter Nets and MLB, that’s how I know.
Number 2 son, the one who usually thinks things over before he asks and then before he answers (yes he IS male and yes he WAS born that way) has noticed that I watch Pirates games when Wandy is playing, Giants games when Hunter Pence is playing, Braves games when Evan Gattis is playing, Cards games when I’m at Mama’s. He asked me why I don’t watch the Astros no mo and I have told him that they aren’t on (our) TV and they don’t care about me so I don’t care about them.
He’s thought about this for several months now and so yesterday he asks me – Mami, do you want to go to the ballpark for Mother’s Day – I mean, with us? So I asked him – are you asking me if I personally want to watch the Astros play baseball, let alone at the Box, or are you telling me that YOU want to watch baseball and are asking me to take you to a game. (Because that would be really something, seeing as how he and brothers have expressed disdain for baseball – except the backyard kind with Mami + Dogz + friends/cousins…) He thought about it. Came back and said, I wanna know if YOU want to watch them. I told him that if he and his brothers wanted to go, they could go with their Daddy and that I would do something different with them.
But I informed him that he and brothers had still better think of something to get me for Mothers’ Day. He thinks about this. How bout a Brandon Barnes t-shirt? he sez.
That boy – WHERE does he get this stuff?
OK, I told him – as long as you boyz make it your own selves – draw it on a plain t-shirt so as Crane won’t get a penny from it. You really hate him, dontchu, sez my kid. Nope, no hate, that’s giving him something and he ain’t gettin nothin from me, not even that. Kid is gettin big – give him somethin to think about.
Wonder whose jerseys they are pimping, besides Altuve, seeing as how the remainder of the roster is has beens, never weres and who’s thats. Doubtful that Barnes, unlike Backe, has his Jersey on the racks.
Meanwhile, Jordan Lyles goes 5 innings again – seems as if he’s not going to be allowed to go past the 5th again, in spite of the fact that he’s only thrown 82 pitches, he’s already made it past the #4 hitter for the 3rd time and the Astros bullpen is really bad AND he’s leading 6-3. After all that grousing about how the starters can’t go deep into games, well, what is with pulling someone managing to not stink getting pulled? 4 hits,, 2 walks and 1 HR (all 3 runs scored)? Meanwhile, CJ Wilson is still pitching in the 7th. Looks really weird to see Uncle with a .231 BA – guess that bad foot is really affecting him. Natcherilly, him being macho n stuff – he can’t go on the DL and let it heal.
Glad to see Brandon Barnes getting some playing times, especially seeing as how he’s leading the team in OPS.
Watching the Cubs/Cards just to listen to Deshaeis, who, sorry to say, is better than Alan Ashby and whoever is broadcasting with him. Also to make sure Mama doesn’t have a stroke from blood pressure when Yadi Molina gets his fool self caught stealing third by Carlos Marmol to end the 8th with men on first and second and Kozma up.
Watching the Braves to see if Kimbrel is gonna blow his 3rd save in 5 games. Yep – 2 outs, 3-2 count, yet another homer, then a walkoff next hitter. Reminds me of Brad Lidge 06. Poor Medlen. It’s so funny – the Braves announcers are all hepped up about how fast Kimbrel throws – well, ML hitters hit straight FB even when they are 97/98. People get all hysterical about velocity. Braves bullpen has not been shut DOWN like it was last year.
Meanwhile, in the Astros minors:
at AAA, Jonathan Villar has a .814 OPS and 7 errors in 29 games – Paredes had 6 errors…
Elmore and Krauss are killing the ball. So, by the way, is Brett Wallace, who has a .996 OPS. Andy Simunic, playing 3B, one of the few Original Astro Minor Leaguers, hitting .340 – no power, but he has half as many walks as hits. The main catchers are Jason Jaramillo and Cody Clark, both over 30, neither hitting his weight. Too bad they gave away Chris Wallace.
As for pitchers, you know they’re doing that weird 75 pitch start thingy, so starters only have a couple of real starts, and expect to go only a few innings – I still don’t get the intelligence of doing that with pitchers in the high minors, but hey, whatevs.
Only starter who is pitching well is Jarred Cosart – 1.10 WHIP/2.63 ERA over 27.2 IP – Wes Musick did well, but he’s been shuffled off to the bullpen. Oberholzer has 18 ER/24 R over 21 IP. Ross Seaton has 22 ER/25 R over 21 IP. Kevin Chapman and Josh Zeid are pitching decently in relief – 1.24 WHIP and 1.35 WHIP respectively. Jose Valdez is closing – yeah, you remember him – he didn’t do that badly last year at the majors, 2.25 ERA/0.93 WHIP over 12 IP. He’s doing fine – 14.2 IP over 12 games, 1.84 WHIP and a 0.90 WHIP – more K than hits + walks.
At Corpus, the starters are pitching well – Tropeano, Foltynowicz (who, for some bizarre reason, was forced to start the year at Lancaster) Bobby Doran, Dave Martinez, Asher Wojciechowski. Ruben Alaniz and Matt Heidenrich.
Alex Sogard and Jason Stoffel are closing – guess they are swapping out on that one too. Sogard and Stoffel have both allowed a run, and Stoffel hasn’t allowed any walks. Actually, I was surprised that Stoffel didn’t get promoted this year, but youneverknow…
Tags: Houston Astros