5/7/13: Astros Scrabble To The Bottom Of The Heap In Spite of Ch-ch-chchanges

Gloriously lying at the very bottom of the heap at 9-24, envied by the Lorias, 2 games ahead, and the Cubs, 4 games ahead, the Astros Organization has sent Future Ace Brad Peacock to AAA to suck there while bringing up Jordan Lyles and his 5+ ERA at AAA to start – you see, he has been Tagged For Suck-cess. They sent Erik Bedard and his 8+ ERA (starting) back to the bullpen, haven’t said what they are going to do with Phil Humber and his 9+ ERA – probably a 9 ERA+ if it is even positive, which is doubtful. Rhiner Cruz went to AAA, which, by the way, he skipped because of being a Rule V last year, to re-locate his pitches.

To my surprise, they dumped Fernando EFF Martinez, his limp bat, dead weight legs and crappy glove. To my shock, they DFAd Rick Ankiel, Mr. Veteran Presence and his umpty strikeouts. He had the 4th highest OPS on the entire TEAM, which tells you where that team at. Brandon Laird got sent down, not DFAd, seeing as how he didn’t hit like Barry Lamar 2004 in his 28 at bats. At least he wasn’t released.

Trevor Crowe, who appears to be another AAAA guy, got called up, along with Jimmy Paredes, tearing up AAA pitching and, uh, “weak” on defense, and Julio Daniel Martinez, back off the DL.

You ask me how I know this stuff seeing as how I don’t care no mo. Well, it was on the Inter Nets and MLB, that’s how I know.

Number 2 son, the one who usually thinks things over before he asks and then before he answers (yes he IS male and yes he WAS born that way) has noticed that I watch Pirates games when Wandy is playing, Giants games when Hunter Pence is playing, Braves games when Evan Gattis is playing, Cards games when I’m at Mama’s. He asked me why I don’t watch the Astros no mo and I have told him that they aren’t on (our) TV and they don’t care about me so I don’t care about them.

He’s thought about this for several months now and so yesterday  he asks me – Mami, do you want to go to the ballpark for Mother’s Day – I mean, with us? So I asked him – are you asking me if I personally want to watch the Astros play baseball, let alone at the Box, or are you telling me that YOU want to watch baseball and are asking me to take you to a game. (Because that would be really something, seeing as how he and brothers have expressed disdain for baseball – except the backyard kind with Mami + Dogz + friends/cousins…) He thought about it. Came back and said, I wanna know if YOU want to watch them. I told him that if he and his brothers wanted to go, they could go with their Daddy and that I would do something different with them.

But I informed him that he and brothers had still better think of something to get me for Mothers’ Day. He thinks about this. How bout a Brandon Barnes t-shirt? he sez.

That boy – WHERE does he get this stuff?

OK, I told him – as long as you boyz make it your own selves – draw it on a plain t-shirt so as Crane won’t get a penny from it. You really hate him, dontchu, sez my kid. Nope, no hate, that’s giving him something and he ain’t gettin nothin from me, not even that. Kid is gettin big – give him somethin to think about.

Wonder whose jerseys they are pimping, besides Altuve, seeing as how the remainder of the roster is has beens, never weres and who’s thats. Doubtful that Barnes, unlike Backe, has his Jersey on the racks.

Meanwhile, Jordan Lyles goes 5 innings again – seems as if he’s not going to be allowed to go past the 5th again, in spite of the fact that he’s only thrown 82 pitches, he’s already made it past the #4 hitter for the 3rd time and the Astros bullpen is really bad AND he’s leading 6-3. After all that grousing about how the starters can’t go deep  into games, well, what is with pulling someone managing to not stink getting pulled? 4 hits,, 2 walks and 1 HR (all 3 runs scored)? Meanwhile, CJ Wilson is still pitching in the 7th. Looks really weird to see Uncle with a .231 BA – guess that bad foot is really affecting him. Natcherilly, him being macho n stuff – he can’t go on the DL and let it heal.

Glad to see Brandon Barnes getting some playing times, especially seeing as how he’s leading the team in OPS.

Watching the Cubs/Cards just to listen to Deshaeis, who, sorry to say, is better than Alan Ashby and whoever is broadcasting with him. Also to make sure Mama doesn’t have a stroke from blood pressure when Yadi Molina gets his fool self caught stealing third by Carlos Marmol to end the 8th with men on first and second and Kozma up.

Watching the Braves to see if Kimbrel is gonna blow his 3rd save in 5 games. Yep – 2 outs, 3-2 count, yet another homer, then a walkoff next hitter. Reminds me of Brad Lidge 06. Poor Medlen. It’s so funny – the Braves announcers are all hepped up about how fast Kimbrel throws – well, ML hitters hit straight FB even when they are 97/98. People get all hysterical about velocity. Braves bullpen has not been shut DOWN like it was last year.

Meanwhile, in the Astros minors:
at AAA, Jonathan Villar has a .814 OPS and 7 errors in 29 games – Paredes had 6 errors…
Elmore and Krauss are killing the ball. So, by the way, is Brett Wallace, who has a .996 OPS. Andy Simunic, playing 3B, one of the few Original Astro Minor Leaguers, hitting .340 – no power, but he has half as many walks as hits. The main catchers are Jason Jaramillo and Cody Clark, both over 30, neither hitting his weight. Too bad they gave away Chris Wallace.

As for pitchers, you know they’re doing that weird 75 pitch start thingy, so starters only have a couple of real starts, and expect to go only a few innings – I still don’t get the intelligence of doing that with pitchers in the high minors, but hey, whatevs.

Only starter who is pitching well is Jarred Cosart – 1.10 WHIP/2.63 ERA over 27.2 IP – Wes Musick did well, but he’s been shuffled off to the bullpen. Oberholzer has 18 ER/24 R over 21 IP. Ross Seaton has 22 ER/25 R over 21 IP. Kevin Chapman and Josh Zeid are pitching decently in relief – 1.24 WHIP and 1.35 WHIP respectively. Jose Valdez is closing – yeah, you remember him – he didn’t do that badly last year at the majors, 2.25 ERA/0.93 WHIP over 12 IP. He’s doing fine – 14.2 IP over 12 games, 1.84 WHIP and a 0.90 WHIP – more K than hits + walks.

At Corpus, the starters are pitching well – Tropeano, Foltynowicz (who, for some bizarre reason, was forced to start the year at Lancaster) Bobby Doran, Dave Martinez, Asher Wojciechowski. Ruben Alaniz and Matt Heidenrich.

Alex Sogard and Jason Stoffel are closing – guess they are swapping out on that one too. Sogard and Stoffel have both allowed a run, and Stoffel hasn’t allowed any walks. Actually, I was surprised that Stoffel didn’t get promoted this year, but youneverknow…


27 Responses to “5/7/13: Astros Scrabble To The Bottom Of The Heap In Spite of Ch-ch-chchanges”

  1. Bruce says:

    That is right where Lidge blew it that year – 2 strikes, 2 outs.

    Felt so sorry for him. Glad he came back with a perfect year for the Phillies.

  2. Lisa Gray says:

    – and thing is that he was hurt so often it was hard to tell when it was pain vs being told by umpty different people how/what to throw
    i also was really REALLY glad to see him get that one great year and his Ring. just sorry that roy-o hasn’t never gotten one

  3. Becky says:

    Roy Halladay is having shoulder surgery……….I wonder if Amaro wants to
    come asking about Norris, or Harrell???????????

  4. Lisa Gray says:

    too late – he’s got ed wade right there

  5. Eric says:

    Astros win only their second series.

    Angels with Pujols, C.J. Wilson..Josh Hamilton lost two in a row to the lowly Astros ? And I doubt the Astros’ payroll is even anywhere close to the Angels’.

    It’d be quite a kick if the Astros pull off the sweep with Harrell pitching tommorrow. *crosses fingers*

  6. Lisa Gray says:


    well, angels were supposed to be one of the best AL teams – but sometimes, things don’t work out the way you planned, hunh dodgers?

    anyway, even the 03 tigers swept a series or 2 on the their way to 119 losses. stros can top that…

  7. Bruce says:

    Couple good nights for Bo. Wish him many more!

    PS Kazmir fans 10 in 9-2 win.

  8. Lisa Gray says:

    over oakland
    i’m not seeing michael bourn in the cleveland lineup yet though
    and it’s good to see kazmir being able to make a comeback like this – 6 IP, 1 run, 4 hits. second good start in a row. hope he continues to kick ass. and yeah, the angels fans are bitter
    – sometimes i think that a couple years are what it takes to really heal some injuries

  9. Bruce says:

    Chris Nelson returns to Coors Field – as a Yankee.

    Traded for a PTBNL or cash. Or $5 and a Pepsi can.

    Swat a couple, Chris!

  10. Bruce says:

    Oops, days old story. Nelson went 2-9, but played all three days.

  11. Bruce says:

    Berkman hits the ball to left center and gently lays his bat down on the way to first. My instinct calls out “Good Bye!” Massive home run. Sigh….

  12. David says:

    Great article to read about the Astros “tanking”. In my opinion, probably the best one that I’ve read yet that gives both sides of the concept, and at least provides details etc.


  13. Bruce says:

    Great Willie Stargell look-back just now on CSN. Best part of playing in Pittsburgh. Oh, and pitchers batting.

  14. Bruce says:

    Hello, JD! Martinez appears in extra innings to drive in an insurance run.

  15. Ralph says:

    Crawfishboxes.com for daily stros discussions. This place is kaput, but I don’t blame her for feeling that way.

  16. Bruce says:

    Nice Astros rally in 6th last night. Harrell deserves hitting support, and boy did he get it. Fun to watch. First they caught up against Nicasio, then Wilton Lopez gave up first and then second HR of year.

  17. Bruce says:

    Aside from one platinum sombrero day, JD has been rocking and rolling!

  18. Bruce says:

    If we throw out all those pesky AL games, we are back to .500.

  19. Eric says:

    Don’t look now…but Astros have won 4 out of the last 5. If it wasn’t for Veras, it could easily have been 5 straight wins.

    What’s the world coming to ?

  20. Bruce says:

    Signs of L-L-L-Life!

  21. Bruce says:

    Carter 11, Lowrie 3 (don’t look at BA!)

  22. David says:

    Real life Major League movie in the making! [/wishful thinking]

  23. Lisa Gray says:

    hi all yall

    took off a little time for birthdays/birthday parties, the twins graduating from elem school – do all yall realize that when i started this blog they were barely 2 and went with me to (almost) every game?

    seeing as how the season is 1/3 over already, and i am not any more in luuuvvv with crane, i think i’ll check in on how the pitchers/hitters are doing. or the ex-stros in the league

    don’t ask me how they are winning because i don’t know. i don’t know why the angels are so lousy, or the As are so good.

  24. Eric says:

    It’s up to five straight, six W’s out of the last seven for the Astros. Sure the two clubs they’re playing suck..but hey any kind of good news is welcome, right ?

    Sucks to be the Angels and their huuuge payroll of Hamilton, Pujols, et al..getting swept by the team with the smallest payroll in all of MLB. Yuk.

    They had to play around .250 ball in order to reach the Sacred All Time Losing record…unfortunately they’re playing well above that right now. Barring some serious losing streaks..I’d say that record is safe this season. They’re only 21 wins away from NOT breaking that record.

    Root !
    Root !
    Root !

  25. Lisa Gray says:


    i do NOT understand the angels sucking like they do. Josh hamilton? pujols, we know is hurt. But trout is not having anything like the year he did last year, and their pitching isn’t good enough – they miss greinke i think.

    and yeah, this latest non-losing streak is gonna make it really REALLY tough to get anywhere near The Sacred Record. Fortunately, there are plenty more games with oakland.