Honestly.
Some men gots no sense a tall.
First it’s Manny Ramirez testing positive for HCG, which is the hormone made by a pregnant female’s placenta to keep the pregnancy going. Like being a pregnant man is gonna make him a better baseball player. Supposedly, it’s supposed to make the testicles work harder to make testosterone. Yeah, right. I only know one thing that makes testicles work harder and it ain’t pregnant women’s placental hormones.
Now 22 year old Freddy Galvis, backup second baseman for the injury depleted Phillies, had a positive urine test for Clostebol. The anti-drug fanatics have put anything besides estrogen, which even resembles testosterone in any way, regardless of its use or activity or efficacy as an actual androgen, on the To Be Punished List. Note that this is not a substance that actual roiders/bodybuilders USE because it is weak and doesn’t do much of anything. It is one of those just might could have some androgenic activity if you injected 3 tablespoons of the stuff at a time substances. It’s actually prescribed as a vaginal suppository (in Brazil) to treat ulcerative vaginitis or cervicitis (shudder).
Fascinating.
Note that the kind of people who have ulcerative vaginitis are not using Clostebol to build up any muscles, including vaginal or cervical or uterine muscles.
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “hit like a girl.”
Freddy, a guy who isn’t real too much bigger than Altuve (supposedly 5-10, 155) has a career minor league OPS of .613 over 1987 AB and a major league OPS of .617 over 190 AB this year. Wowie Zowie, he enhanced his performance by 4 whole OPS points!!!!
Can’t have Bad Guys like this trying to heal up their sore vaginas and hitting a whopping .226 and slugging .363 (same slugging as he had last year at AAA, by the way). But youneverknow, maybe this will pave the way for females to play baseball.
And speaking of hitting like a girl, the Astros looked like AA hitters against Luke Hochevar and his 6+ ERA – he threw 7.2 innings giving up only 5 hits and 3 walks and no runs and no hit the Astros through 4 innings. This team is SORRY.
Tags: Philadelphia Phillies


BWAAAAAAAA HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Now *THAT’S* funny, I don’t care WHO ya are!!
That was good for several guffaws from me as well ! I LOVE your writing, Lisa !
Freddy Galvis will *NEVER* live down his shame !
Was Freddy by any chance a catcher ? *deadpan*
becky and eric
unfortunately, poor freddy could have gotten the stuff in his blood by having sex with a woman who was using the medication – it’s not like he’s exactly CHEATING, unless it wasn’t with his wife…
Annnnd…if Freddy experiences a sudden change in the pitch of his voice, stops growing facial hair among other female “attributes” he can petition for the return of a women’s baseball league. (See “A League of their Own”) Perhaps a name change to Frieda.
Clostebol – the source of endless japes and jokes.
Eric
Flipping between KBVO to watch Oswalt pitch for the STINKING’ Rangers and the Astros-Indians game.
I looked up Clostebol. Apparently one side effect is the “enhancement” of the breasts for males for this type. So Freddy might have to look into purchasing a bra sometime soon.
And rainbow uniforms of the 70′s and 80′s ! Yay !
*rim shot*