It never fails. Every Thanksgiving, somehow the toasted pecans which I arrange neatly on top of the pecan pies become, uh, disarranged, often absent, and this curious event occurs when my Daddy just happens to drop by. So this year, I put them in a box, padlocked the box and put it in my closet.
Baby Girl, sez my Daddy, trying to look innocent, aintchu gonna fix no pies this year? Ida know Daddy, I answer, they bad for your sugar. But I don’t GOT a sugar problem, so where’s the pies? Well, Daddy, IFFN I was gonna fix pies, today is NOT Thanksgiving yet, right?
But I had, in fact, fixed a special treat for Great Uncle Johnny, wrapped it up special, and put a For Uncle Johnny so NOBODY TOUCH THIS OR ELSE!!!!! sign on it. And so after dinner last night, I went to the fridge to get it to bring it to him – he needs the calories because he’s sick, and I can’t find it where I left it and I know SOMEbody got into it so I go into the living rom and confront trying to look innocent males and say WHERE THAT OAT CRACK PIE AT?
Sudden silence, guilty looks, tongues licking crumbs offn lips.
Well, huhhuhhuh, er, you see, sez Cousin Marvelle the security guard who thinks he should be a cop, ah thought you said crack PIPE so I had to, uh, investigate. Yeah, that’s the word, investigate.
Lemme get this straight here boy – by your own self, you went into MY refrigerator, opened the present for Uncle Johnny and ate 4000 calories worth of butter, oats, cream and sugar to make sure it was legal, do I got this straight, while all these other boys just sat and watched you, it that right?
So of course Cousin Marvelle ain’t gonna take the rap his own self and immediately implicates Husband, Brother, Daddy and Sons 1-3, still surreptitiously licking crumbs off fingers. Which of course, I knew, seeing as how I knew only too well that the only thing they like to share more than gossip is greasy, sugary, buttery, creamy goo. And that pie takes FOREVER to make, too.
So between having to remake it, repost threats of refusal to cook any more at ALL, and making the usual stuff, I’ve had no time to make the announcements that
1 – no more Clint Barmes – he signed with the Bucs for 5 mill a year for 2 years. Looks like Angel Sanchez or some minor leaguer or crappy guy offn the scrap heap is going to “play” short.
2 – Buddy Boy is trying to assuage furious Astros’ fans anger against Crane (henceforth to be referred to as the RWP – racist War Profiteerer) by saying that Drayton McLane agreed to move to the team to the AL way BEFORE the sale. Yeah, surrrrre. Ain’t making Astros fans any less angry at either you or the RWP, Selig, you swear words. And the team using AAAA players everywhere isn’t making either one of you look good and is certainly NOT going to increase ticket sales.
3 – Corporan and Towles are off the team, as they have picked up some other horrid AAAA catcher who is a Corporan/Towles clone.
4 – They have signed 4 guys to minor league contracts with invites to ST – Lance Pendleton (RH RP who was on the roster in Sept after being released by the Yankees), Travis Buck, 29 yo LH OF (1st round pick of the A’s in 05, AAAA guy, 737 AB over 5 years with a .727 OPS), Joe Thurston, 32 yo AAAA IF, (5th round pick of the Dodgers in 99, who we know from his 226 ABs with the 09 Cards – lifetime .626 OPS in 323 ML Abs over 9 years) and Brad Snyder, 29 yo LH OF (1st round pick for Cleveland in 03, who has a grand toal of 35 ML Ab, all with the Cubs and has a AAA .835 OPS over 1760 ABs.)
You know that if these guys had been 40th rounders, they wouldn’t be getting a ST invite. Might as well stockpile some crappy AAAA guys at AAA OK City so they will have SOMEbody to play, seeing as how we don’t have any decent minor leaguers, right?
They have left 23 year old Kody Hinze off the 40 man – he was undrafted and has hit like crazy – don’t guess they need any prospects who can, you know, like, hit. Ed Wade’s obsession with crappy utility infielders over minor leaguers who could, you know, like, maybe someday, like contribute, continues.
The minor leaguers left unprotected are: Xavier Cedeno, 25 yo LHP who we got in the Paulino trade; Kyle Greenwalt, 23 yo RH SP/RP, 20th rounder in 07; Danny Meszaros, 25 yo RH RP, AAA, 48th round in 08; Sergio Perez, Rh SP, 2nd rounder in 05 – wracked, or is it wrecked, by injuries, 2 years of suckage at AAA.
Kyle Greenwalt has possibilities – the other 3? Nope.
Also, Brandon Barnes, 5th rounder in 05; Jon Gaston, 7th rounder in 08; Collin DeLome, 5th round in 07; and T.J. Steele, 4th round in 08. All of em outfielders who can’t hit a lick. No obvious great loss. We already HAVE a CF who can’t hit a lick, when he can tear himself away from Mary Jane, that is.
Hmmm. Schafer hasn’t yet been tried or sentenced. Maybe we NEED another OF who can’t hit a lick…
Tags: Houston Astros