The Astros Are A Royal Mess

I’m trying not to be sunk in gloom about my lousy team. The Mariners trade for Cliff Lee, shove off the worthless pitcher Carlos Silva on the C*bs and trade for Milton Bradley to DH (say what you want, he sure nuff can hit.) Meanwhile, the Astros sign a mediocre middle reliever to a 15 mill contract and sign a worn out, used up guy to play third at 4.5 mill, blocking yet ANOTHER young guy.


Drayton McLane apparently is not gonna say no to offers for the Astros. He reminds me of a kid who has received some toy that needs to be put together. So you start doing it for him, and he is dancing up and down and is all impatient and tells you – NOOOOOOO, I wanna do it MYSELF!!!!

So you shrug and say FINE, now sit there and put it together. Which, of course, he can’t do seeing as how there are 2 strikes against him – he is a male so he WON’T read the instructions and he is so young that even if he were fortunate enough to be female, he wouldn’t understand them. So naturally, he makes a complete mess of things and after a while becomes exasperated, then sulks, then says – STUPID TOY!!! and throws it on the floor. And Drayton sure nuff looks as if he’s throwing his toy on the floor after making a mess of things. He can’t admit it and he won’t ask for help from someone who knows how to put it back together…

Anyway, I read this piece by Will McDonald, who writes the Royals Review blog. Will understands despair, all right. And I excerpted a bit of his latest entry and, uh, sort of, uh, Astros-ized it. (You know your team has gone to heck when you start comparing it to the Royals…) Here goes, from “How Dayton Can Have A Comeback Year:”

Strengthen Your Standing in the Community: I use “community” broadly here: the baseball community, the Kansas City HOUSTON community, your relationships inside the organization. If this Dayton Moore Fast Eddie Wade thing is going to work at all, then ownership has to remain become committed to being the Yankees of the amateur spending market. And much of that goes back to reputation and belief.

To this point, against a lot of evidence to the contrary, they’ve believed in Dayton Moore  Eddie/Tal/Drayton. Will that last forever? To be blunt, 2009 sucked: the Royals Astros sucked and the leadership team repeatedly came across as petty, vindictive, & paranoid. The local and national baseball media began to be much more critical of the Royals Astros and a lot of the benefit of the doubt and goodwill Moore Ed Wade earned withered away. The Royals Astros are in the entertainment business, and if the team continues to behave in the way it has over the last year, things are going to get a lot worse.

At a certain point, the perception amongst the fans and the media gets so negative that the environment becomes too toxic to continue. I’m not I AM saying Dayton Moore Drayton McLane needs to hire Nate Silver/Tom Tango. I’m not saying that Rany I should throw out the first pitch on Opening Day.

Let’s start small and admit just one mistake. One. Let’s work on restoring normal relations with the local media. Stop lecturing everyone. Stop saying dumb things. (Like, say, all that “champion” stuff.) Basically, disappear for months at a time, and when you emerge, be engaging and humble rather than holier than thou.


Dayton Moore Drayton McLane needs Joe Posnanski Richard Justice/Lisa Gray back on his side. Ownership does not want to be a national joke, which is why they hired Moore Ed Wade. It’s somewhat amazing that Moore Drayton McLane himself seems to have lost sight of this. At present, a huge tiny percentage of whatever success the Royals Astros have had drafting lies at the credit of ownership Ed Wade, who has spent (what little increased) money Drayton (grudgingly) gave (for young players.)

 If they lose faith in Moore’s Drayton’s ability to execute and (NOT) roll back the budget, the goose is cooked. (Or should I say, burnt to a charred crisp…)

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