Dude deserves his own title today seeing as how he was the ONLY pitcher to accomplish that magnificent feat.
I just didn’t feel like writing – The Other Geoff Brings His Iron Mitt And Makes Mike Lamb/Ty Wigginton Look Like Brooks Robinson – You Know, The Player Back In The Good Old Days Who Vacuumed Every Ball Hit To The Left Of The SS And Never Made A Mistake.
But I COULD have written – Props To Borkowski Who Came In With Only About 5 Warm-up Pitches, Threw 8 Straight Pitches Outside The Strike Zone, Didn’t Strangle Blum When He Screwed Up A Dead Easy 5-4-3 (AGAIN!!!!!!) Getting Only 1 Out Then Having To IBB Jenkins Then Giving Up A Piddly Single To Load The Bases Then Pitching Out Of The Jam.
Or I could have written – Backe Pitches Batting Practice In Like What Has Gotta Be His Worst EVAH Start (ida wanna hafta look it up – this one was waaaaaayyyy too depressing…) But we knew he was having problems with location because of all the walks in his last start.
He started off in trouble – Taguchi singles the 4th FB to left. Then Dobbs takes the 1-2, which is chest high and outside to right. He gets Utley to K on a curve.But then he hangs a slider to Howard, who singles Taguchi home. Then Tejada can’t handle a ball from Burrell and Howard is safe at second and Burrell is safe at first -this is a “single” and Dobbs scores. Then Jenkins doubles off the CF wall on a mid thigh mid plate meatball, Howard scores and Burrell is out at the plate because Bourn can hit the cutoff man. Coste reaches because Blum makes his first error of the day dropping an easy ball. Fortunately Bruntlett lines out. Bad pitching, bad fielding.
Then Houston hitters can’t manage to score with 2 on and no out. Bad hitting.
Bottom of the second – Backe walks the effing PITCHER on 4 straight balls. Then Taguchi singles on a perfectly acceptable curve. Dobbs FO to Clank Lee. Then Utley hits a mid plate outer half meatball off the RF wall, which should have been an easy RBI double, except that the pitcher doesn’t know how to run the bases and he goes back to tag before advancing and Utley, almost to second, manages to make it back to first – he SHOULD have drawn a throw at least from a fielder of Erstad’s quality. Bases loaded one out. But then Howard does Backe a favor and hits a FB that actually had some movement on it (for a change) into a 4-6-3. Narrow escape.
Bourn walks, but no one gets him home – and yes, he does steal his 9th base in a row.
Bottom of the 3rd, Backe still has pretty much nothing except bad pitches and bad luck. Walks Burrell on 4 straight balls. Then Blum makes error #2, booting a simple 5-4-3 tailor made GIDP and Jenkins is safe at first and Burrell is safe on third. Then Coste hits a ball to left center which Clank, naturally, doesn’t get near, and Burrell scores. Then Backe gets the next 3 outs – and he was darn grateful that Berkman managed to fish out a terrible throw from Blum on out #3.
Top of the 4th, Tejada hits Wifebeater’s only mistake over the RF wall. Thank you for making sure at least we didn’t get shutout.
Bottom of the 4th, Dobbs takes an inside knee high FB to right for a single. Then Backe serves up a nice tasty unsliding slider which Utley hits over the R centerfield wall. FINALLY Coop gets the bullpen going.
Everyone trots to the mound. The ump knows wassup, and finally he trots out there – break it up, break it up. They all trudge slooooooowwwwwwwwwllllllllyyyyyyy back. Then Backe holds the ball, Tejada calls time and trots out. The ump sighs, starts to wander back out there, then FINALLY he gets the notice that Borkowski is ready.
Dude has had like maybe 2 minutes max to get ready. And darn if he doesn’t manage to get through the entire inning without letting any runs score.
MAH HEEEEEEERO
And Blum had best throw the glove he was using today in an incinerator. I don’t guess HE ever wants it near him again neither….
Villareal is given a chance to try to remember how to pitch to guys you DON’T want to hit the darn baseball.
5th inning, he mows down Taguchi and Dobbs and then Ks Utley. DAMMMM!!! But in the 6th, well, the usual Villareal shows. Howard, who has been slumping, sends a changeup into the right centerfield stands. Here we go again. Then Pat Burrell gets a cheapie 331′ just an inch to the right of the LF foul pole – woulda been off the scoreboard at The Box. He then settles down, gets Jenkins to K, gives up a single to Coste (Blum doesn’t get) and then gets Bruntlett to pop out and Myers to FO.
hmmmmmmmm
Might could there be a reason that Atlanta didn’t mind trading a much needed bullpen arm for a minor league OF who will be, at best, a 4th/5th OF defensive replacement?
7th, Geary gets 1,2,3.
8th – Valverde is given a no-pressure outing. He’s been working with Dewey Robinson, the pitching coach. So let’s see how he does. He gets Ryan Howard to swing at ball 2 – mid chest. His splitter still has very little movement. Burrell then pops up the second pitch – looks like a slider??? OK – so far so good. But then it’s the Lidge’s curse – one more batter to go and sure enough, a splitter doesn’t split and Jenkins sends it into the LF corner. Then Coste, the backup catcher is up, and Valverde, I guess giving up on the breaking stuff, feeds Coste a steady diet of fastballs until he finally leaves one in the middle of the plate and Coste sends it over the CF wall.
He STILL can’t get any of his breaking stuff to break and even backup catchers are gonna hit 90 something FB down the middle.
Great.
As for our hitters, they didn’t do spit the few times we had MOB. Loretta is looking tired. He is NOT an everyday player anymore. Maybe it is a good thing that Matsui is supposed to be coming back soon.
We SHOULD have won game 1, but today was a disaster.
Got no idea what they are doing with Hunter Pence, who sat out today. He’s in some sort of mental funk, swinging at anything low and outside. Maybe he needs a hypnotist. Maybe the day off will help somehow. Because when Erstad is a better hitting option, Houston, we most DEFINITELY have a problem…
The Rox are coming into town for the weekend and Chris Sampson gets the start tomorrow. Hope he isn’t rusty, it will be 9 days…
UPDATE: Meanwhile, the Rox played 22 innings in San Diego last night and hopefully, they will be too tired to do much of anything at the plate, in the field…
As always, great article Lisa. Small descepency, Borkowski started warming up after Backe walked Burrell to start the THIRD inning. All delay was about Coop’s indecisivness, however redundant………..
Don’t worry, we’re already on the Tejada thing:
http://www.dome-dogs.com
Already on the Tehotta thing?…check out http://www.jastroworld.com
jastro -
oh. i must have missed seeing bork warming up.
it must have been the blinding migraine i got from seing all the iron flashing in the sun along with the neck strain i got twisting to see all those balls flying – or should i say, i had sympathy pains with erstad…
and speaking of tejada, i most DEFINTELY talked about the age thing when we first traded for him. i heard ALL about it and so had darn near anyone else who reads blogs.
i disbelieve for one minute that no one on the astros staff had so much as a clue… just like i disbelieve that no one had any idea that he was involved with steroids…
Hahaha, Lisa, I apologize, I didn’t mean for that to come off the way it did. That is probably my favorite video of all time. Chris Hansen should take lessons…”Are you sure about that?” PRICELESS
Lovely Lisa, Jastro really didn’t mean anything, nor has he mentioned anything about, Tehaha and PEDs; simply a Jastrobabble, OK?
stephen
- grinning
trust me i REALLY enjoyed that video too. the man is a VERY good liar too. which makes me believe that rafe palmeiro actually told the truth about where he got the “B-12″
but nobody really gives a poopoo about tejada doing roids. astros fans sure don’t. and the rest of the world except for the sanctimonious sports columnists don’t neither.
and don’t nobody really care that tejada cheated his way into a bigger contract than he would have gotten if he had told the truth about his age years ago.
of COURSE he kept his mouth shut.
and take a look at his wife – you think he coulda got prize tata like that iffn he had been a shoe shine guy in the DR?
i don’t THINK so
jastro dahlink,
don’t worry.
what happened to all those pics you used to have?
and i’m sure teroider DID use steroids.
and as for steroids, all i can say is that i think that every single guy who has used them should get exactly the exact same amount of heck and shtt as barry lamar bonds has gotten…
This should make you happy, Lisa: If Jastro went in front of Congress with the question being HIS use of steroids, he would have to say, “Well, when diagnosed with Chrones back in the 80′s, he thinks he got a cordisone shot”, or such…..
Pardon Jastro, insert ‘and’ for ‘or’.
well jastro,
what is really important is when you were doing roids, how many home runs did you hit???? did you get near The Sacred Babe Ruth’s Number???????
hmmmmmmmmm
oh, you weren’t a professional baseball player?
and you weren’t a rap star neither?
or even a football player?
oh
nevermind
use all the roids you want
How Gracious, Lisa
Never played ball after like Pony League, and it was right-field by then. I did graduate from a real college in Houston, earned a CPA, and life goes on. Also, my first BB game was in the skeeter-infested lumber facing the Dome construction in 19sixtysomethingorother. Keep up the gooD work!
“He” really meant “Jastro”…..
The FUNNIEST thing is that Jastro says he is watching the “live” broadcast of SURVIVOR abd readers on the East-Coast know the biggest loser–do you know?
I sure would prefer Scott in left over clank, ant day. But you and I have agreed on that all along. I told everyone that signing Lee was stupid, and that we had two better corner guys already. I would have signed Werth as insurance, maybe the right-handed end of Scott if necessary.
The combo of awful defense and not so great on base skills (that one walk of his is getting rather lonely) means that a platoon of average defenders w/ (say) 80 or 90% of his offense would be a plus over him. At least Tejada doesn’t have to be here after next season. We’re stuck w/ El Clydesdale for another four seasons after ’08. At least we’ll have that to laugh at.
as i told everyone, clank had only 2 more RCAA than luke scott in almost twice as many AB and he had like 10 fewer than berkman, who had a down year.
and i keep hearing how the astros have such great defense because there are so few errors.
sigh
well, we are 27th in the ML in DER, batted balls converted to outs.
which tells the REAL story
jastro,
amazing how many astros fans i have had comment or email me that they watched the stros back in old colt stadium swatting skeeters the size of horseflies…
Lisa,
I remember you talking about Tejada’s real age. But I wanted some confirmation, some record etc.
The thing is, this a BIG EFFING DEAL. B/c there is no small difference b/w age 32 and 33 seasons and age 34 and 35 seasons, if you have any idea about how players tend to age. This could mean that Tejada’s underperformance last year (I’m referring to the power drain) was a sign of his age/decline, as opposed to a mere down year. This could mean a precipitous dip later on this year, and further deterioration next year. Unless Tejada is one of those very special players that fights off aging until his late 30′s- i doubt it.
Look at Loretta who had a career year at 31 0r 32, then crapped out as an everyday player.
(Please note that, as usual, I refer only to a player’s performance/probable performance, and not his charcter- b/c one might add that he’s now both a cheater and a liar).
I have two theories about the current Astros management:
1)They think they’ve got a winner and are, therefore, either crazy or stupid (their hope would be riding on Backe and Chacon- seriously). In which case they may not care about Tejada’s age b/c they like old players that you used to be good- Erstad (not old so much as one of those non-special types that falls off a cliff after age 30), Loretta, Ausmus etc. They did sign a 32 year old Matsui, who stunk before he turned 30.
2) they understand how bad things are but want to ensure that attendance doesn’t completely dissipate while they work on creating a legitamely viable product. In which case they don’t care b/c even if he is 34, the average fan cares about names. This is consistent w/ the Astros cashing in on Bagwell’s name twice in ’07- Bagwell Night AND number ceremony thing!!- and the numerous Biggio related sell outs. It’s also consistent w/ El Clydesdale’s contract- as he’s only marginally better than the average LF b/c of his Burrell-esque (Not burlesque- or is it?) defense. Funny, before signing Lee the Phillies wanted to dump Burrell on us, while eating a chunk of his contract, for Ensberg (?) before Lee was signed.
kevin,
unlike espn, i don’t have the $$$ to go to the DR and get a copy of his birth certificate
and i don’t feel like stealing his wallet or getting into it any other way you know what i’m sayin…
and of course the age thing is a BIG effing deal which is why he lied about it in the first place and kept lying. and i HOPE which is why the astros didn’t extend him after we got him
and i think there is some combo of #1 and 2
wouldn’t you rather have luke scott in left instead of clank???
[...] is still a lot of cynicism and sarcasm floating around in the Astro world.
from the same article referenced above (brewersnation)
“That happened with Wandy Rodriguez and now Miggy. I cannot help but laugh a little bit.” -refering to the age discrepency.
I don’t remember that. What was that about. Anyone have some links. Not that I really think its a big deal, in either case, but I feel like I should have remembered that.
i don’t have links but i remember when i was first looking at minor league pitchers in the astros organization in 04, i found 2 birthdays for wandy – one was the correct one – 1/79 and the other was something like 10/81.
Rockies are going to be groggy tonight. Hope that helps us win one.
finally seeing the type of game we all expected. hope our bats are better.