I’ve gotten a few emails asking me why I never write/talk to the players themselves. Well, besides the fact that I have no Press Pass and therefore have no way to corner them, I mean, approach them, what could I ask that isn’t the same old stuff? Even if I asked new and different questions, they aren’t foolish enough to give honest answers. See what I mean:
- Me: So, welcome to the Houston Astros Ballclub. What do you think you’ll like best about being here?
- Joe Ballplayer: All the strip clubs on Richmond and I hear Rick’s has a VIP room for the athletes and… Um, ohmigawd was the tape going? I mean, it is great to be part of a winning tradition and we have a great core of great ballplayers and I’m excited to be playing here.
- Me: Well I’m glad you’re such an excitable boy. Jim Bouton once said that pitchers would take something that took 10 years off his life if it would give him 5 MPH on his fastball. What do you think about that?
- Joe Ballplayer: Well, the Union has a strong drug policy in place, which I support and it’s important because Think Of The Children.
barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfff
Now if I could ever get honest answers to the following:
1 – Why do you think that so many guys who seem to have great talent can’t seem to make it to the majors?
2 – Do you think that an Organization targets certain people for success and often promotes them over guys who are actually better?
3 – Do you think that an Organization may keep a guy with ML talent in the minors anyway and if so, why?
4 – Why do you think that the media insists on ballplayers having to (pretend to) be sinless humans?
which reminds me
5 – Do you think that there are any ballplayers who give their OWN money, not money they persuaded someone ELSE to give, to charity?
6 – Please explain what “he plays the game the right way” means. Besides hitting into too many DPs or letting too many runners score, what exactly is “playing the game the WRONG way?”
7 – If this was football instead of baseball and the media and public didn’t care if you used steroids and there was no testing, would you? What if you knew for sure that using steroids would make you uncurably impotent permanently after age 40?
8 – How much practicing do you have to do before you can say “well, we gotta play em one game at a time” and “it’s a long season” and “I’m excited to be here” a zillion times with a straight face?
Needless to say, I wouldn’t be gettin no answers – at least no HONEST ones, so I don’t think I’m missing anything at all…
Tags: Houston Astros, MLB
Lisa—
1. Ask their agents.
2. Do you think they don’t?
3. a) Do you think they wouldn’t? b) Why does baloney reject the grinder?
4. All things considered, these days the correct question would be, “Why do you think the media insists on ballplayers having to be the dregs of the earth?” (They barely know what to do or say when they meet a for-real sinless player who can actually string together a coherent sentence that wasn’t pre-rehearsed, don’t they?)
5. Ask the guys who don’t beat their gums about it first when they do it.
6. Let’s see . . . having a brain fart when your fastest runner is rounding third and has home plate pretty much sewn up in a World Series game would be one example (reference Joel Skinner, 2007 Serious) . . . throwing a first ball, fastball hitter a first ball, fastball would be another . . . throwing a fastball to a fastball hitter you know can’t hit your curve (reference Ralph Branca) with the pennant on the line . . . loafing on fly balls instead of gunning it up the line just in case you get a break and might get two or three bases for your effort . . . loafing on grounders instead of motoring and maybe getting a little present if the throw’s off line . . . blocking the plate illegally when you don’t have control of the ball or it isn’t anywhere near your hands in transit, and costing your team the pennant (reference Michael Barrett, who’d rather fight than switch) . . . oh, oodles of way to play the game wrong . . .
7. a) Good question. b) As if they care when there’s a couple of million balloons on the table, potentially?
8. Can you say, “Nuke LaLoosh?” (You’d be amazed how many guys actually have to practise such dopey lines, straight faces or no. Athletes aren’t always the most articulate souls, which is why we love it when we get the occasional Billy Wagner or Luis Gonzalez or Johnny Damon or C.C. Sabathia in our midsts . . .)
Yours faithfully,
Jock the Jake (or should that be Jake the Jock)
dear jake jock,
1- actually, the agents would give excuses. his teammates would probably KNOW
2 – i think they DO. and i would like an opinion as to WHY. because sometimes it does NOT involve $$$
3 – i KNOW they do. the questions is WHY??? and why on earth would anyone grind baloney???
4 – with damm few exceptions, media get angry when an athlete doesn’t say the Proper Phrases. like barry lamar said, there’s no secret. it’s talent and you can’t teach talent…
5 – the only 2 guys i KNOW about are lance berkman and barry lamar. and a couple of guys who donated 10G from their million dollar salaries to the katrina victims
6 – grinning. that’s what us FANS think. but i think it actually means something else…
7 – well, me having no male equipment of my very own i can only guess from all the talking about/grabbing etc males do. and my guess is that they wouldn’t never believe THEY might could lose that stuff…
8 – the lance berkmans and brad ausmuses and barry lamars are pretty rare. unfortunately.
[...] tackle these I was googling around and stumbled across this blog. The author begins with: I
Dang…what made you so jaded on athletes and men in general?
what made me jaded on athletes? hearing “just glad to be here. hope i can help the team. you gotta take it one day at a time. you gotta give credit to the other guy…” and too many STUPID cliches too many times. i REALLY appreciate the barry lamars and lance berkmans of the baseball world and i wish they would talk more and that guys with more than 2 nerve cells to rub together would speak or write. even though, to tell the truth, i think that most media/fans prefer the stupid cliches.
jaded on men in general?
i’m not. i actually LIKE male humans. and i get along with most of You People, mostly because i accepted LONG ago that you are not capable of acting or thinking like a female, so it never gets me upset or disappointed when you don’t, which too many other females do.
if i really WAS that jaded on men, i wouldn’t hang on baseball sites, where most bloggers/writers/commenters are not female. and i SURE as heck wouldn’t have married a male or agreed to live with any…
Long time no comment, and not really related to this post at all, but
I don’t know how updated Rotoworld keeps their site, but they seemed to have Paulino, Cassel, Hernandez and Nieve competing for the fifth spot and Sampson just competing for a spot.
Tell me the Astros have more sense than this. Please.
Also, this isn’t actually a post by Lastings Milledge and it could be portrayed as offensive, but the way I see it is that it portrays someone who is very smart and perceptive but has been let down by education.
http://www.yard-work.org/?p=782
Also,
This is probably the worst thing I could say right now (after his brother dying and what not), but if Tejada’s green card is revoked do the Astros get Scott back?
Also, I know your hatred of Ty Wigginton, and I will admit his defense is atrocious. But you have got to admit he’s pretty darn handy with the bat. .275/.330/.475 (I think it could be better) is pretty darn good. If only we hadn’t gotten rid of Everett…
“I don
An entertaining “save the franchise” article on our team:
http://www.sportsline.com/mlb/story/10607275
Thanks for the link, Steve Schramm
Pretty funny piece … but also sad that it’s mostly CORRECT …
ESPN’s top 100 prospects includes only two, Towles (61) and Paulino (65). Since they will be in the Show this year, that means we will have exactly zero prospects in the top 100. Espn is not the sole authority of Minor League talent, but it’s another data point that supports what we already know — Ed Wade has a lot of work to do to rebuild the farm system.
steve,
same with baseball america’s top 100. pretty sad. pretty sad.
http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=pfk_WuYpfduzefA8-s0_iYw&gid=3
Lamb was 1.1 over 416 IN
Wigginton was 0.2 over 392 IN in HOU, -0.1 over 254 IN in TB
I wasn’t arguing that Lamb was bad with the bat. Lamb was as good (probably better than) as Wigginton with the bat. I just don’t think it is all bad concerning our 3b prospects…I wouldn’t argue that it is all bad concerning our ss prospects.