“Why should I
feel like that
Why should I
chase the cat?
Nothin but the DOG in me
dog DOG DAWGGGGGGG”
- George Clinton
As most of all yall have determined from reading my columns over the past (almost) four years, I really do just LUUUUVVVVV dogs. Dogs are, in general (with few exceptions) pack animals, enjoying and assimilating new dogs into their group. There are, of course, those Dogs who regard the introduction of any new dog, or even human being, into their life as an affront to their being and, shall we say, resist (ahem) the new individual. But usually, it is personal – the dog simply dislikes, for whatever reason, the new addition, especially if there would seem to be any challenge to his/her supremacy.
When Husband brought home the puppies a few weeks back, Dog Pappas (yes, named after the late great Doug Pappas), the youngest of our three dogs, not quite a year old himself, first dismissed the pups as uninteresting and insignificant until he realized that not only were they not leaving, but they were taking up his usual space in the kitchen as well as taking away from the all-important Mami-playing-with DP Dog-time. Topping off the insult was the fact that Alpha Dog Barry Lamar didn’t merely tolerate the rookies, he didn’t merely welcome them, he enjoyed watching them.
Phat Stuff Dog, who, in general, is indifferent to the presence of addition of any other dog as long as they are not unspeakably stupid enough to go anywhere near his food, ignored the pups. Now it is true that Phat Stuff might could have agreed to lap puppy milk replacer from a bowl, as it is against his way of life to turn down anything whatsoever that might could be edible, provided that it isn’t moving; however, he wouldn’t humiliate himself by attempting to drink from a baby bottle.
Dog Pappas howled his jealousy and rage and yesterday managed to knock over the dog gate and foolishly went straight for the pups, somehow forgetting that Barry Lamar Dog was in his way and that Barry Lamar is older, MUCH bigger and MUCH stronger (sorta reminded me of the famous Robin Ventura/Nolan Ryan fight – you could almost see a look on DP Dog’s face just prior to impact wondering if, in fact, he might could have made a mistake.) He was a lucky dog – Barry Lamar left him with most of his skin and fur, if not his dignity, intact. Some dogs just don’t like young players – actually, husband is now calling DP Dog “Jeff Kent Dog.” He now simply waits until he thinks no one is looking, then growls at the pups.
Reminds me of an actual team – some guys welcome new rooks, enjoy teaching them, showing them the ropes (like Roger Clemens); some guys ignore all new guys and are entirely self-absorbed in their own life (like Frank Thomas); some guys really resent new guys and do their best to bite them (like Luis Gonzalez or Jeff Kent.) Sometimes, you bring in new guys who just do NOT fit in with any of the other dogs (like what happened several years back when Husband brought home Prima Donna Dog and the other three instantly HATED her – same with Kevin F. Dog.)
It has also been fun and instructive to watch my children deal with the pups. The twins, who, at first, were very helpful, lost interest because it suddenly occurred to them that even if you did a good job feeding them, for some reason, in spite of the good job, they’d wake up 2 hours later and want to be fed AGAIN. As #2 son explained – there’s just no END to it. (The very definition of motherhood, you see.) Or, as #1 son told me – that Bradley Dog, he BAD – he can’t just be askin for food, he gotta wake up everybody else and get them askin too. It’s a funny thing – Bradley is the loudest, Morgan is the largest but Adam is somehow, unquestionably the alpha of the bunch.
Interesting how whenever there is a group, there always seems to be SOME alpha – and it is not always a male, nor the largest, nor the strongest, nor the oldest.
This afternoon, after I had brought the twins home from school, I had left the kitchen and gone to get a new, fresh pile of puppy towels (think un-disposable diapers) when I heard my children YELLING from the kitchen – MAMI COME QUICK!!!!
Thinking that there might could have been a new DP Dog attack, I rushed back, to be greeted by three excited children pointing at the puppy pen – LOOK Mami, Adam Dog got his eyes open!!! Sure enough, there he was, standing in front of his siblings, whose eyes are still shut, looking up at us, wagging his little tail. Goodness gracious. Amazing how much more attention you get if you appear to be interested in whoever is paying attention to you. The kids, previously disinterested, are now fighting over who gets to hold/feed Adam Dog.
The “leader” indeed.
Da Bull is showing interest in the puppies, namely Adam, for the first time ever. He asks why we can’t keep them. I explain that puppies grow up faster than kids do and in a few weeks they will be grown up enough to leave (our) home, just as kids do when THEY grow up. Da Bull thinks about this, suddenly realizes that he’s a kid and will someday grow up and leave home. His face shows alarm, he throws his arms around me and cries – Ida WANNA leave. Well, I said, of course not.
Smile
Some prospects you keep….

As yall know, I write for www.thehardballtimes.com once or twice a month – the non-statist of the group. The Annual Season Preview has just been completed and is now available. As David Gassko, one of the editors explains, “This year’s effort includes 240 pages of team essays, player comments for almost 900 different players, projections, and other goodies. The team chapters are written by bloggers and THT writers who follow their team every day, and the result is the kind of commentary you canít get from just looking at the numbers or some news stories.”

And of course, “mind-bending, cutting-edge stats” for all your fantasy needs. Yes, I DO mean baseball fantasy.
Click here to read David’s 10 examples of things he learned from reading the book.
Click here to read a sample chapter.
Click here to buy. Thank yuh verra much.
Oh yeah – “full disclosure” – I do get $.02 for every book sold – you know, because I put my 2 cents in….