viagra orders online buy kamagra eu can you buy zithromax in stores ciprolet 500 para que sirve sildenafil acquisto avelox prazosin doxycycline online approved canadian online pharmacies atarax 25 mg purchase metformin on line australian pharmacies no prescription viagra site that excepts mastercard galporn order suhagra online generic cialis from us pharmacy celis pills cialis shipped from united states valtrex cost new ed hardy cologne levitra professional ramilich ohne rezept decadron canada post amoxicillin 500 mg street price 236 cialis buy online uk when is cialis at its peak generic mobic mexico buy sildenafil citrate 100mg online chlamydia symptoms prochlorperazine nexium for 18.00 asacol without prescription erection packs 2 cost of cialis at walmart pharmacy cipritol 4 viagra pagamento al corriere buying viagra online in canada welbutrin xl 300 mg no prescription buy sertraline online uk cytotec funciona de 6 meses lipitor shelf life can fluconazole 150 treat jock itch elocom for sale where to buy sildenafil citrate sarafem and weight gain walmart drug prices without insurance order cialis pills sildenafil teva prijs mtabs purchase alli medicine online pill unisom available australia why isnt viagra generic ppw pharmacy in india levitra super pro where can viagra be purchased in canada buy priligy dapoxetine from india trustdtablets viagra without a prescription order buy cialis in indonesia 171 suhagrat ka tarika online drugstore acyclovir celecoxib 200 mg price which generic viagra brand is the best no rx synthroid 112 fish fluconazole cheap vardenafil no prescription cialis without perscription cheapest pharmacy for viagra cyproheptadine pour chat what is tinidazole 500mg used for mountainwest apothecary cheap bupropion propecia online australia ephedraxin reviews buy original viagra online cialis spedizione anonima online canadian pharmacy street price of fentanyl patches tonsils and betamox mumbai india pharmacy pil perancang can i buy viagra in soho medrol dose pack without a prescription cheap cialis 40 mg phgh rx buy sertraline no prescription canadian medications online how much does it cost for amo... cialis tabs 20mg g4 sildenafil 50 mg name brand cialis without prescription cgv pharmacy walmart viagra price buy tadalafil using paypal buy levitra plus cialis generico italia brand cialis overnight delivery efecto del cialis en la mujer generic cialis canada pfizer viagra for sale online onlinepharnacy why would cialis stop working canadian cialis viagra online in spain what is metformin womenra 100mg herb viagra green box reviews medrol dose pack instructions why was etodolac discontinued when will alli be back for sale cialis_viagra_levitra_kaufen_rezeptfrei canadian no prescription cialis mebendazole for sale mail loc:pl cipro antibiotic for sell do apetamin syrup cause yeast infection mirtazapine effects on psa cialis mail buy daily use cialis online canada pharmacy 23h viacom orlistat diet pill priligy in kuwait buying viagra over internet logirene retention d'eau levitra 40 mg generic cialis_kaufen_gunstig canadian pill identifier with pictures alli weight loss pills for sale viagra for cheap buy lozol prendre du viagra avec du previscan stendra online purchase otc amoxicillin clarithromycin lawrence walter pharmacy india online pharmacy no prescription lithium baclofen tablets on line rx canada pharmacy accutane buy viagra without the prescription valuepharmaceuticals viagra sample pack citalopram 20 mg viagra vs cialis price 247 overnightpharmacy com no precreption avodart 0.5 mg seksei video reliable distributor for viagra the weeknd xo album inflason prednisone generic version of cialis cheap low cost viagra overseas fioricet buy 10 ml flydende viagra ordonnance cialis renouvelable tadalis sx soft black market estrogen vipps certified pharmacy buy viagra pfizer lowest viagra price nolvadex for sale good site viagura mastar card glucotrol buy with out tadalafil no prescription 100mg viagra acheter misoprostol sans ordonnance fast shipping cialis and viagra amitriptyline without a prescription discount on cialis vaginal water spray 7zx cialis best sellers catalog reliable place to buy nolvadex for pct antibiotics forsale on line buy thyroxine mumbai india perscription lithium carbonate prescription order real,viagra cialis red pill cara minum cytotec lupin 500 best viagra for women in india trittico online kaufen securemed olanzapine buy dioxycycline cuanto vale el viagra en colombia prescription dog medicine in mexico np prescription tadalafil sildenafil ratiopharm pk v1 generic nexium sold in stores cheap antabuse cheap drugs american express suboxone on line pharmacy cheapest online pills buy one live pharmicy is there a generic cialis or viagra metformin non prescription 10mg diazepam for sale u k aldactone no prescription overnight generic viagra deutschland xenical orlistat buy online medication similar to advair ip 103 do u get high off this pill androgel 1.62 uk super lavitra obat proster canadian discount rx services how to mix amoxicillin powder does baclofen get you high where can i buy compazine nifedipine where to buy amoxicillin vancouver when will cymbalta go generic buy prednisone no prescription paypal toradol 10mg street price cialis_20mg_erfahrung zithromax for lyme disease treatment generic viagra report viagra liquid capsules levitra 20 mg billiger kaufen albuterol, no prescription, mastercard best rx life viagra prices in usa online cialis without a prescription can buspar cause premature ejaculation 100mg doxycycline tablets from india viagra replacements bayer 20 mg levitra canadiandrugstoreexclusivemall buy accutane without prescription tadalafil cheaper version clarisonic brush canadarx mall propecia online getting viagra under the counter viagra canadian pharmacy mastercard antifludes lexapro online my canadian drug store order pyridium online viagra pas cher au canada uk ritalin buy online can i take iodine with sy... genericviagraonlinewithoutrx generic pharmacy online cheap generic drugs get suprax shipped next day awc discount buy amoxicillin 500mg cap cialis las vegas viagra online per nachnahme bestellen napflam shooting up buspirone great high cialis online canada paypal colchicine ordering antabuse cost at walmart cafergot buy viagra purchase in nz non prescription pharmacies mexico viagra tablet online shopping in india buy viagra greece lavitra manufacturer 400 aciclovir canadian mall viagra precio farmacia mexican pharmacies in tijuana buy the bluepill where to buy viagra online safely palmilla vuclip. tadalafil 100mg best price buy valtrex tablets in australia viagra cialis combo endometrin without prescription 2078 buy trazzadone online no script buying cialis in ireland buy viagra paypal virgra getting cialis shipped overnight reely suhagraat vedio online tube 8 onlain filmi bg metronidazol para que sirve tadalafil amex viagra samples free viagra canada price zetia online india no prescription cialis without subscription dubai xnxx overseas foreign pharmacy buy viagra viagra online deutschland non prescription allopurinol cialis dapoxetine review buy online ode des perfume can you buy wellbutrin over counter buy levitra overnight generic cialis best price cialis preise cara pengambilan pil perancang yasmin viagra for sale online cheap phenergren no perscription international legal rx levitra online in america what is cortanmycetine used for online pharmacy debit card septran tablet trazodone canada costo viagra farmacia viagra, gift card weight gain pills generic viagra for woman cortef no prescription domperidone without rx where to get cialis comprar vardenafil de bayer nexium over counter price canadian drugs no prescription viagra_per_nachnahme_kaufen gabapentin 800 mg street value generic methotrexate overseas pharmacy articulo 78 promethazine 25 mg uk paypal sildenafil buy pain pills online legally albendazole online pharmacy purchase estradiol online costco pharmacy prices levitra 52 apo prednisone no rx antibiotics without a prescription nizagara tablets 100mg cialis gocce quand avoir les rapport sous clomid sildenafil opakowanie overnight shipping kamagra oral jelly flowmax buy zofran online zovirax canada for sale buy azithromycin 1g cialis best price. fast delivery combivent inhaler without prescription buy propecia finasteride baclofen high how many to get high free viagra for women venlafaxine proscar generic brand buy citalopram 40 mg buy levothyroxine online for cheap cialis viagra overnight delivery viaca for man for sale tadalafil online no prescription strong viagra 100mg viagra patent accord arimidex trt prednisone viagra expiration date methorexate 2,5 mg kaufen tadalafil generika online kaufen nymphomax albuterol mexico cvs cialis 20mg price tadalafill 10g cialis buy synthroid levothyroxine online uk buy cheap generic levitra online no prescription xenical viagra plus yohimbine love and other drugs online sa prevodom isotretinoin buying canada buy nolvadex and clomid online sildenafil citrate 100mg plus cialis 40 mg chocolate video com global pharmacy canada phone number ragipi tu u qi video maximum dose levitra origional cialis 20 mg miglior prezzo kamagra anti viral drugs over the counter kroger pharmacy refills online is alli back in stock xanax 1 mg street value ajanta kamagra oral jelly prescripsons on;ine zoloft rx is 4000 mg of atenelol fatal drug emporium amazon metformin doxycycline hyclate 100mg cap thyrox 200 cheap crestor 40 mg 378 cheap viagra usa order gabapentin online levitra shipped from us when will viagra prices go down implantation calculator best place to buy generic cialis online viagra substitute walmart buy orlistat online cheap levitra with no prescription real pharmacy rx vuclip sex safe cialas and viagra buys vermox from india tadalafil 20 mg softgel online pharmacy without a prescription for sale zithromax z pak oral purchase viagra from pfizer nitrostat shelf life no prescription voltarin vigrande 100 mg celecoxib on line medi meds clavupen buy viagra online singapore 255 potensmedel cialis cialis canada price 5 mg tadalafil online 379 cailis azithromycin sold in stores order birth control pills methocarbamol over the counter proscar no script crestor 10mg sildenafil 100 mgs no prescription how much is viagra without insurance buy thyroxine online india london drugs canada aurochem mumbai generic viagra shipped from usa buy propecia sky pharmacy canada cheap generi accutane where to buy sinequan mifepristone generic viagras where to buy costco cialis prices z pack antibiotic prices parmacies on line no scrip pharmacy viagra et le psa remeron no prescription. antibiotics without a doctor best buy canada drugs colchicine ed pills at walmart prix du cialis en belgique tadalafil mastercard where buy levofloxacin order viagra overnight delivery buy wellbutrin with no prescription cialis 5mg kaufen generic viagra malaysia vigora hindi me viagra sales mexico non prescrtipon trazedone ipecac syrup for sale online cheap viagra 50mg elontril online cipla limited buy viagra lasix ol ampicillin to buy universal drug store ed meds online phenergan boots how to order kamagra cpg generik canadian pharmacy brought by echeck on line meds kegunaan obat pariet 20 mg clomiphene citrate la thuoc gi citaloprem night or morning cialis buying online order cipro online express delivery viagra pills for sale in canada robaxin 750 mg online no prescription buy levitra vigora oil names of viagra available in india cost of lisinopril without insurance singulair cena viagra orders healthy male sirius radio kamagra usa thc pills for sale sample cialis buy betnovate scalp application pharmacy shop online promethazine buy viagra online malaysia order orlistat online buy domperidone usa canada pharmacies without script clomid online pharmacys with 5 stars order salbutamol express shipping natural viagra substitute gnc ceebis cod efferalgan purple pharmacy algodones apply diclofenac to penis alzen medicament womenra reviews buy proscar online in ireland levitra generico orosolubile prezzo clomid with echeck where can i buy code red 7 canada water weight pills zenegra 100 cheap ordering cialis 5mg online order lasix online with paypal synthroid without prescription american pharmacy store best price cialis 20mg usa cheapest place to buy viagra non prescription prozak canadian pharmacy 24h com vn cialis studies get my canadian drugs dove comprare viagra senza ricetta tadalafil usa what is stronger than viagra raciper pharmacological name fast act viagra viagrasales canada where can u buy prednisone buy clomid with paypal precios de sildenafil paroxetine 10 mg and weed les hommes etait quoi avant antifludes pediatrico viagra in malaysia where to get viagra online prices propecia paypal lasix india without rx cheap viagra 100mg to buy in canada budesonide ec 3 mg price purple pharmacy algodones mexico order promethazine codeine canada buy real viagra canaian meds buy aldactone usa ciprofloxacino pensa sildenafil verkauf suhagra 100mg side effects cialis price at costco healthy man viagra $99 viagra 100 cheap viagra real sex tablet name for men alli pills amazon 50 mg amatriptyline cheap costo levitra originale phenergan syrup for dogs canadian bull 100 super avana review buy orlistat 120mg online in uk worldwide pharmacy kamagra india pharmacy online medications indiantucking generic viagra 100mg price where to buy viagra in nyc prednisolone side effects nhs vardenafil online pharmacy canada rx 24 ajanta pharma ltd mumbai compare price for niacin er 750mg viagra in india price levitra generika rezeptfrei bestellen walgreens aspirin in amsterdam kaufen 20 mg lisinopril sale no perscription indian viagra tablet viagra in stores code red 7 viagra generic best prices viagra uk cheap vente tadafil bactrim ds fors sale 24 hour viagra blood pressure medications for sale brand viagra 100mg cheap prices non prescription tadalafil tablets phentermine 37.5 canada pharmacy 800mg viagra buy prednisone no rx from canada levotiroxina mexico pharmacy comparateur_prix_cialis_france purchase naproyxn from canada top pills drug store health tablet lithium without prescription cost of viagra in mexico calias viagra per donna in gocce clinsol gel domperidone without script apetamin syrup online prescription meds how to get penicillin online can i take ibuprofen with buspar flagylindia paypal benicar coupon code how to buy cialis buy real viagra canada viraga 25mg pfizer coupons for viagra contact yahoo cheap paxil buy viagra taiwan 49 melink rx brand buy elimite in canada inderal non perscription letrozole sale pil perancang yasmin untuk ibu menyusu cheap abortion pill online canada viagra cheap free triamterene ed meds from canada buy shirt pay american express como puedo comprar doxycycline como comprar en ebay desde chile suhag raat manane ka tarika in exelon energy real viagra pfizer viagra pa cher generic cialis vs brand cialis viagra pills for sale uk cialis and ecuador pharmacy pornphotos buy quetiapine can i buy cytotec over the counter cost of accutane without insurance kamagra tablets do they work 367 viagra free samples glaxo company cialis in usa skelaxin buy actavis cough syrup online viagra paypal payment drugs no prescription needed canadian citoteque como comprar rj pharmacy 24 female viagra sale generic viagra for sale online prednisolone chat arimidexbuy on line varfendil overseas reputable pharmacies in mexico malegra 100 sunrise cialis online sales abilify without insurance cheapest alternative to viagra comprar metformina en argentina on line proterium without prescription viagra patent expiration date in canada buy brand name viagra online canada benadryl ingredients shelf life of viagra viagra plus review cialis miglior prezzo online in sydney buy cheap generic cialis uk buy oratane 2.5 mg cialis no prescription generique tadalafil 20mg prix celex free viagra sample pack antibiotics to buy clomid online review bodybuilder kwikmed coupons articulo 155 dove acquistare levitra sicuro cialis ohne rezept paypal cyrux generic lexapro for sale salep ketoconazole how much metformin for overdose acutane 10 mg online purchase canadian prescription adderall rx north pharmacy trazodone hcl 50 mg para dormir zanaflex overnight delivery canadian pharmacy american shield tribulus terrestris efeitos colaterais para que sirve gabapentina pfizer vigra ireland online silidemafil citrate canadian canadian family pharmacy ed meds buy medication online without script nolvadex dosage for epistane viagra_sale worldhealthcare365 estrofem usage viagra without perception albendazole-buy-online buy cephalosporin viagra online from usa metronidazole vaginal gel alternate cialis with mastercard can you mix cialis and viagra india cipro soft viagra 100mg tablets cialas viagra for sale canada us online overnite pharsacy where can i buy periactin pills anxiety test online for teenagers buy zithromax 1.0 gm antibiotics by mail illegal cialis is there generic cialis articulo 160 buy viagra with discover taste perversion after azithromycin cialis online cheapest zyban over the counter cialis cost per pill levothyroxine without subscription healthy male viagra reviews message sex how much viagra cost methylprednisolone 4mg did elizabeth edwards take tamoxifen mercury drugstore philippines website remox 250 cialis professional 20 mg germany canadian 25 mg viagra angela women gingseng mtabs cialis genuine lasix online viagra-150-mg-dose predizone on line supplier viagra shipped from canada non prescription viagra cialis pharmacy prices propeciaon line purchase world med direct pharmacy cytotec pour avorter lortab viagra_generika_gesundheit canadian health club viagara united pharmacy viagra where can you buy trimix or trimix gel usmedicbay paxil is iti illegal to buy drugs from canada discounted softgel viagra vipps canadian pharmacy reviews come comprare viagra in italia std meds for sale viagra for women reviews std medications online online pharmacies no prescription m.xhamste rosa impex pvt ltd discounts on viagra viagra super active viagra discounter tadalafil cialis 500 mg zithromax for dogs dosage canadian pharcharmy viagra jell promethazine codeine heathnet viagra viagra meds online in australia levitra life after expiration date safe to buy cialis online antidote to tadalafil generic viagra from uk metazol how much is cialis prescription catapres from mexico pharmacies can i buy viagra in colombia 49 buy strattera generic online buy vibramycin doxycycline new zealand januvia instructions for pharmacist aleve d and xanax tadalafil for sale buy perfume online international buy cialis 5mg from canada cialis precio de 20 mg en usa orabet buy adderall no membership uk what cialis vendor can i trust claravis supreme supplies in india price comparison levitra cialis viagra donde puedo comprar pastillas cytotec costco catalog buy abortion medication online viagra pills cheap cytotec palsu liquid tadalafil for sale ribavirin buy online fast shipping benicar without out a prescription prednisone with no rx apcalis tablets sildenafil 100 mg cvs pharmacy viagra price best deal on propecia prescription vistaril buy diflucan over the counter cvs buy astepro from india revatio order methocarbamol robaxin 500 mg canadian buy levothyroxine 125 mcg weare buy viagra winnipeg methotrexate from canada viagra prof... tadalafil cipla libido411 ok to split cialis tablet female indian viagra tablets where to buy cialis cheap meloxicam 1 mg veterinario closest thing to levitra clomid without a rx ed drugstore where do you buy lithium orotate xnxx maroc gratuite rx one pharmacy canada non generic buy cialis with pay pal sunrise online pharmacy reviews viagra_order_a_prepaid_visa tadafalil jelly uk lamictal no prescription women cialis reviews spermiogramm in greifswald norvasc 2.5mg online in canada buy viagra montreal buy celebrex uk high gas causes premature ejaculation levitra tablete za potenciju 103 donepezil without a prescrib order witout prescription reputuble pharmacy to buy clomid cialis a vendre obat provera buy trinessa online domperidone rx canada onlinefilmer canadian phrmacey steroid pills cialis sales online no prescription needed bactrim cialis canada pharmacy nexium 40 mg viagra canada pharmacy online buy cialis fast delivery robaxin 750 mg no rx best price on arimidex primatene tablets discontinued amerimedrx cheapest retin a levitra for sale online viagra without script legimate vipps online viagra pharmacy online 365 awc drug store buy viagra singley online where shold i buy viagra in mumbai buy generic propranolol online buy inderal overnight delivery anafranil pills phgh vs cialis try viagra ships 2 to 3 days u.s clomid and epo together before iui cymbalta generic 2013 walmart drug prices for cialis american made viagra getting risperdal buy zoloft online happy male viagra domperidone drug from australia places to buy viagra zoloft party vente de viagra en suisse uricon with out precritpion for dogs revista infancia y aprendizaje canadian pharmacy doxycycline drugs from india without prescription cialis sold cheap revatio price furosemide without prescription generic accutane sale canada viagra super active 3 8 day shipping order birth control online low cost pfizer viagra viagra prescription online cheap cialis 20mg how many trazodone does it take to die can ceftin cure chlamydia want to buy prednisone buy generic 200mg antabuse online gay sleep viagra gel para hombres original viagra online ordering 20mg prednisone sidenafil100 mg gemfibrozil peersription us cheap caffergot buy xenical online cheap new zealand lowest price cialis 20mg brand in usa retin a without prescription usa canadian drugs without prescriptions 1804 buy metformin amazon levitra discount cialis kaufen deutschland pay for cialis with paypal cialis shop online zentel cvs buy methotrexate 2 5 mg no rx overnight tadalafile 60mg reseta para abortar aciclovir bp buy synthroid no prescription needed cialis price drop cheapviagra from india fungsi obat metronidazol buying seroxat on line cheapest sildenafil citrate 100mg viagra without perscription cheap lisinopril generic equivalent advair patient assistance program buying levitra online safe clomid for sale viagra online canada pharmacy reviews buy celebrex no prescription alli refill best price i want to buy 500 mg metronidazole bayer viagra for sale in boston cipro without prescription buydiclofenac nitroglycerin tablets for sale how to get codeine syrup online dove posso acquistare cialis generico provera 5mg tab viagra vendita online in italia drugs without prescriptions india ce este candibene buy furosemide cheapest translate google http health search internet pharmacies legal primatene mist for sale canada will medicare pay for cialis albuterol inhaler low cost cheap cheap viagra actos canda purchase viagra c.o.d cash delivery buy anafranil online prescription drugs from mexico to us safe way to byi viagra online safe online cialis best rx online viagra generic levitra free trials best prices for viagra 100mg amitriptyline purchase online where to buy war 1m antibiotics meclizine hydrochloride high comprar viagra en miami generic nexium with out aprescription levitra ohne rezept acheter cialis lilly 20mg smoking neurontin where to buy fucidin cream generic viagra paypal buy 240 ordering estrace without prescription weight on pharmacy brand where can i get valtrex avana pills ampicillin overnight shipping cheap kamagra india 192 dapoxetine online australia viragra with noprescription seks sri lanka glucovance no prescription needed online pharmacy accepts mastercard india pharmacy hydrocodone does robaxin require an rx in canada tetraciclina viagra buy houston calais pills from canada viagra pills for sale usa cialis black flox dove posso comprare il viagra liquid clomid for sale otc viagra cvs zovirax tablets over counter cialis price rite aid hydrochlorothiazide pills for sale antabuse purchase buy generic cialis fast free shipment buy generic viagra australia imagenes de futbol femenino con frases canadian pharmacy generic viagra where can i buy left over clomid healthyman complaints generic viagra without a prescription real viagra online sales best erection pills zyprexa zydis buy where can i buy prednisoletablets duphaston et efferalgan codeine levitra cheap broward county cheapest generic levitra buy ivermectin in in no prescription vigorex 50 mg sildenafil buy neurontin paypal cialis 200mg in italia mail order prescriptions from mexico super levitra professional where to get viagra in ireland cialis 20 mg online pharmacy where can i buy fucidin cream ed pills canada generic levitra shipped from usa youtube no prescription prozac meth vs viagra canadian viagra and cialis buy vardenafil 40 mg malaysia sildenafil citrate 100mg from india cheap fursomide 40mg predesone with out prescription fertility drugs for sale online online pharmacy in costa rica buy zyvox online search rhine pharmacy viagra generic prednisone over the counter equivalent tips or tricks taking cialis 5 mg buy ketotifen pills online order acetazolamide candian pharmcy neotrex vs accutane buy liquid viagra 213 best price generic cialis does amoxicillin cure std mail order drugs from mexico online best rx pill furosemide tablets to buy modalit� emploi viagra female generic viagara 150 mg vardenafil 60 mg isotretinoinpharmacy aap ki adalat citalopram rezeptfrei thyroxine sodium tablets for sale ibuprofen furosemide 40 mg buy online zovirax no prescription canada propepecia tablets singapore buy cialis 20 mg tablet australia> buy retin a online can you get levitra cheap buy propranalol buy genuine pfizer viagra best place buy strattera atomoxetine buying vigara on line can u shoot up baclofen legitimate cialis canada online viagra reviews generic viagra made in india monidem gel herpes pills for sale viagra argentinien heital viagra 110 mg 4xonline pharmacy online pharmacy review forum best online pharmacy cialis cheapest cialis ever misoprostol precio vente cialis viagra on internet generic daily use cialis almased turbo diet forum overnight celexa delivery nizagara does it work buy ortho tri-cyclen online buy misoprostol 200 mcg doxycycline for sale brand cialis no prescription how to buy viagra without prescription viagra tablets for men price apo sildenafil 50 mg safest and cheapest sildenafil uk yasmin aus sexual tablet name can i use eltroxin while on metformin usa viagra online pharmacy buy methocarbamol buy abilify online without rx doxycycline hyclate ice cream cialis nedeland best price 1mg finasteride torino prov cialis 72 buy gonorrhea treatment buy cialis montreal buy cialis canada viagra generika aus deutschland domperidone sales is it safe to by cialis online antibiotics by mail buy azithromycin 500 mg dosage for std viagra for sale in tesco purchasing cytotec in uk 30 mg accutane from canada online price of viagra citalopram online best sildenafil pills for sex viagra patent information in canada buy betamethasone no rx online viagra usa pharmacy buu online generic cialis 200 mg os cialis in india viagra with no subscription kamagra oral jelly cvs pharm support group generic internet based drug stores delay ejacula pil noriday nizagra canada where can i buy antivirals buy prednisone cialis tabs fluconazole oral cialis 2.5 canada buy onadron canadian pharamacies amoxicilin where can you buy viagra viagra 100mg pills online pharmacy no script meds cialis originale online where can i get tetracycline celebrex side effects in women safe website to buy generic viagra 98 top canadian online pharmacies cara kerja boiling clomid interaction with royal jelly wellbutrin from mexico buy liquid viagra weather in vancouver cialsis lowest price pharmacy in singaporeviagra shop online cifixime pay with echeck are cipla drugs safe buy letrozole online expensive avodart cost uropan kaiser pharmacy price for cialis buy misoprostol tablets online bogota colombia sa generic meds 2014 valtrex no rx usa cost of generic viagra in canada buying pills online cheapest no prescription prozac viagra super force for sale can i take 4 cialis 5 mg buy ampicillin no rx tamoxifen for sale vardenafil american express price of levitra 20 mg baclofen 10 mg street value generic india viagra with paypal amitriptyline 50 mg overnight delivery xenical no prescription canada amoxicillin to buy on line buy nizagara in australia cialis_potenzmittel_shop canadian drugs acyclovir for sale in australia premarin 1.25 mg tablet lasix overnight no prescription what is super active cialis drug pills list viagra actavis promethazine codeine viagra from canada pfizer viagra for sale zovirax price in the philippines ventolin inhaler online zovirax no prescription needed canadian pills online cost of viagra in aruba elavil without rx online pharmacy is suhagra otc in canada cytotec in kenya brand name viagra sold in usa order suboxone online generique du viagra sans ordonnance topamax high how much does it take how to get actavis prometh with codeine prendre du cialis a 19ans super calcium carbonate ca 8000 online pharmacies paypal accepted overnight cytotec buy viagra belgium 155 buying meds in tijuana super o sildenafil 50 mg buy metformin without doctor promethazine buy by pay al on line brand cialis best price lamisil pills for sale amazon nitroglycerin no prescription sildenafil 100mg uk cialis buy sweden viagra naturel tretinoin cream buy uk combivent online punar vivah desi tashan generic viagra overnite no perscription where can i buy sildenafil citrate flowmax for sale synthroid 112 mcg price ampicillim online crestor without prescription generic pharmacy belize is buying viagra from canada safe i want to buy some viagra order tamoxifen trusted como comprar adopamina sin receta generic viagra mastercard accepted ampicillin tr 500 mg water plls minocycline no precription prescriptiondrugswithoutprescription where can i buy nizagara? purchase indocin xm radio ad for viagra misoprostol rapid shipping ciprofloxacino 500 mg dosis zytromax without prescription canadian pharmacy support group propecia for cheap price generic viagra canada rx bootleg viagra for sale in toronto decalona healthy man radio commercial cialis over the counter purchase viagra in mexico buy celebrex net day indian meds for you bank of america executives buy levitra paypal comprare cialis in farmacia buy viagra ontario canada mastercard buy-tadacip-online cialis 20 mg prices ultak propecia 1mg cheap viagra online overnight pink viagra buy cialis express shipping official canadian pharmacy cost of celebrex in mexico wellbutrin online prescriptions cost of viagra without insurance mexican pharmacy testosterone cream farmacia canada kamagra canadian inexpensive acyclovir kamagra ie where to get viagra online 1mg or 5mg finasteride for hairloss celecoxib online description mylan bupropion xl 150 mg fixime 400mg order canada amoxicillin 500mg capsule buy propranolol online from uk best prices cialis canada stromectol nitrazepam long time sex tablets name for men diovanoverthecounter canada online pharmacy echeck discount pharmmacies in india frumil tadalafil 100 mg viagra originale miglior prezzo order meds online canadan parmacy 24 viagra newsletter where can i buy ciprobay 500 mg very lowest price on sildenafil no prescription alesse buy suhagra 50 script for valtrex viagra brand online usa canadian pharmacy percocet order cialis online us pharmacy decadron pills no prescription tadalafil prices discount healthy meds viagra viagra patent expiration date england rapid tabs retin a what strength does itcome it eurax cream over the counter viagra tablet price in indian rupees domperidone illegal increasing generic cialis 50 mg generic lasix mail order super active viagra dutasteride and saw palmetto viagra paypal payment accepted diovan valsartan 40mg ebay cheap online pharmacies that sell misoprostol sertraline 100mg tablets no presciption drug store no prescription cialis online how much do gabapentin sell for periactin india viagra kaufen apotheke frases de futbolistas online pharmacies in usa online pharmacy cialis reviews where can i buy prednisone for dogs cheap viagra super active cheap propecia from india viagra without perscription lagatrim tablets 24 hour pharmacy women's ginseng angela low price viagra 100mg online brand viagra canada pharmacy online propecia the most inexpensive cialis generic cialis discover liquidex for sale 2porn cheap levitra professional tadalista vs cialis caverta (original) generic cialis for daily use online misoprostol price in south africa canada meds no prescription needed buy cheap frumil does clomid regulate hormones canada pharmacy prednisone viagra prescription cost order cialis greece can you get high off etodolac ciprofloxacin ohne rezept kaufen canadian pharmacy rip off safe to take excedrin and prednisone viagra dog rx best over the counter diet pills tadalafil 20mg india online viagra no prescription epratenz viagra 25mg over the counter cialis substitute eriacta doxycycline shop candian pharmacy that utilizes paypal over the counter asthmas inhalers buy torsemide online no script metformin online online medical abortion pill where to buy alli can you break generic viagra estrogen pills for men cialis apotheke usa online pharmacy paroxetine buy arestin cheap where to buy hyzaar anastrozole for sale cialis samples overnight indian pharmacy tramadol levitra price in india sildenafil mylan achat en ligne viagra_super_active_100mg dapoxetine on line cialis generico prezzi 200mg viagra viagra tablet sale shop online echeck pills buy doxycycline 100mg viagra next day delivery usa viagra natyrale vibramycin 100 mg for sinus infection cialis buy codeine syrup buy ondansetron online onde eu encontro cytotec brasil minocycline online buy alli offshore generic cialis safety ipecac syrup online to buy cerco cialis canada viagra no presciption minocycline desyrel exnical para que sirve la sertralina rx support planet dmso infection antibiotics viagra on line with mastercard generic prednisone target pharmacy prices list pharmacy online viagra new healthy man viagra review is duloxetine ototoxic purchase viagra without precription long time sex tablet name for men xenical de rocher peru apcalis jelly 20 mg in uk ciprofloxacin dark urine wellbutrin for sale cialis 20mg vs 40mg best dosage discreet cialis meds second choice for albuterol for doctors vigraa canadian neighborhood pharmacy review remeron canada metronidazole best depression medicine emc spc allo buy arimidex viagra for sale in mississauga order ciiais over phone acyclovir no script canada viagra online no prescription needed levothyroxine to buy online cialis without a prescription cialis for sale in usa buy citalopram uk canadian pills store carbimazole buy orlistat 120mg online india 24h pharmacy london testosterone online prescription best place to buy nolvadex web md safe online sites to buy viagra buy viagra at walmart 318 buspar buy septrin buy flowmax no script tadalafil generic 40 mg india canadin pharmacy c20 viagra soft online using paypal generic prices on dvd cialis no precription cialis best generic cialis edsave product 176 mifepristone buy online literotica generic stenda buy robaxin 750 mg no prescription ordering flagyl by mail burpropionxl vs vyvance where can i buy cialis online safely where to buy metronidazole online pharmacy echeck chlamydia pills online buy obat xenical viagra sales in mexico buy amitriptyline without prescription table and chair rentals temple texas does clomid cos pregnancy symptoms pharmaceuticals of lexapro where to buy viagra over the counter buy viagra online in mumbai 126 can you buy beta blockers online risperdal order best place to purchase malegra online buy citalopram top online pills on line pharmacies in belize cymbalta without prescription overnight makemelast generic pain meds overnight dosis amoxicillin tablet untuk anak 196 how long does gabapentin high last viagra with prescription augmentin 1g cialis livr�e rapidement sildenafil schweiz kaufen paxil canada pharmacy online pharmaciy usa propranolol herpes simplex tadarise 20 pill like viagra over the counter lexapro online no rx primatene mist canada dove acquistare cialis in sicurezza 185 over the counter generic prednisone fast shipping sildenafil citrate eating penis cheap viagra vipps soloxine without prescription wellbutrin no prescription mexico pain pills for sale adalat desi tashan buying metronidazole abbott accutane online fast deliverey where can i purchase lasix pills ed supplements overnight fluoxetine capsules for sale cialis online australia generic 5mg cialis best price amoxicilin without prescription cheap cialas and viagra compination price of lipitor 10mg accordo rx reviews geleia de jabuticaba generic ed drugs online sildenafil citrate 100mg no prescription prednisone best online levitra estrofem 2mg generic valtrex overnight delivery cipro 500 mg no script acheter ixprim sans ordonnance viagra uk multiple orgasm male sex power tablet for man in hindi amitriptylin on line buy buy sinemet buy online zopiclone cialis five day delivery usps kwikmed pharmacy online generic levitra with dapoxetine victoza discounts in canada levitra viagra generic canda pharmacy 24 hours saroten rosuvastatin and fenofibrate tablets 80 mg lasix no no rx req. lowest price beta blockers where to buy red alert erection in 7 seconds 272 can i trust canadian viagra online buy azitromyicin www pfizer viagra 100mg price xanax viagra in india online purchase acquisto viagra reato mg brand name buy tinidazole usa trittico best price for real viagra buy cialis gernic cialis for daily use prednisone recreational use buy nizagara in uk trazedone without precsription is it legal to buy viagra online uk alli diet pills wholesale propecia without prescriptions cytotec in ireland canadian health shop price of cialis at walmart pharmacy who can subscribe viagra buy tetracycline online australia vegro 50 sildenafil tablets ip cerco ciacil cialis philippines mail order predsion cheap synthroid online bactrim f shop prozac 20 mg next day pills com viagra online canada cialis n0 prprsscription paypal pharmacy penegra india price of viagra without insurance viagra para mujeres cialis generit levitra super aggression on line parmecy canada viagra ohne rezept kaufen jia yi jian craigslist viagra canada cialis e fegato online drugstore viagra in chennai drugs without prescription uk sertraline promethezene without prescription cialis brand 20 mg rx world manatoba does retin a require prescription order pain medications mexico best prices for viagra cialis gp canada inc belize city canadian pharmaceuticals zovirax discount online victoria bc viagra valtrex online lowest price on nizagra quetiapine for anxiety bootleg viagra viagra gold 800 mg cipla tadacip 20 sky pharmacy cialis buy prednisone no rx canadian pharmacy choice combitic global viagra generic viagra canada how much is nexium at walmart kamagra-online-pharmacy-uk-paypal best pharmacy in canada cyklokapron without prescription australiacialis cialis price at walgreens amoxicillin without prescription paypal vigora 100 hindi me china pharmacy online accutane online pharmacy canada ordering tinidazole nexium mups kosovarja revista levitra online pharmacies periactin appetite stimulant discount norvasc ciproflaxin methotrexate online no rx overnite drug orders cialis viagra combo pack finax howtoordercialasonline cvs std pills linezolid 600 mg online no prescription fungsi amoxilin buy oristat vigora medicine information in hindi buy combivent without prescription no prescription goldshield piroxicam sirve como anticonceptivo no prescription penicillin discount generic cialis isotretinoin online pharmacy metoprolol can you buy viagra online wlik viagra antibiotics from canada online purchace viagra irish canadian online pharmacies viagra 100mg online reputable site canadian substitutes for viagra buy doxycycline acne canadianpharmacynoprescriptionneeded discount levitra prices lesofat price philippines variety package with apcalis fungsi obat infatrim canadianpharmasutical verapamil order viagra from within us where can i buy periactin lowest prices for cialis where can i get viagra sunderland viagra 100mg tablets retail price viagra vs cialis viagra online order purchase cheap cialis diflucan dosage for yeast infection finasteride 5 mg online cheap colchicine without prescription buy cialis pay with paypal prednisolone at indian pharmacy store viagra 100 canada cuepons how you get pfizer viagra canesoral usa rimipril et kola online purchase of priligy in malaysia low cost cialis generic efectos del viagra lisinopril over the counter ciprofloxacino cheapest canada drugs online pharmacy cialis fort mumbai 5mg cialis price como ordenar viagra cyproheptadine order online buy 10 pack of clomid pills 24 7 pharmacy buy lasix usa canada drugstore generic pharmacy healthy man viagra from xmradio add alerdex dexamethasone purchase pain meds from india discount cialis doxycycline where to buy xl pharmacy vip where to buy cialis in mexico viagra billige harga misoprostol cytotec need cialis today desyrel 100 mg nosipren prednisona 20 mg buy viagra online pharmacy pain meds without scripts can lisinopril get you high articulo 69 cheap arimidex no rx buy sildenafil citrate 100mg uk half price pharmacy discount xalatan voltaren and erection buy clinoril without prescription azithromycin syphilis 1g aftermarket 200 mg celebrex videoseksi where to buy cialis singapore ups penus erectile store filme onlain buy dihydrocodeine is 2 yr old doxycycline safe to take ? promethazine codeine syrup online buy rx customer support buy ovral l online phenergan without a prescription drug buy testosterone from canada is kamagra as good as viagra alcances de la quimioinformatica divya pharmacy website fluconazole buy cheap viagra prescription without cheap 25 mg metoprolol no prescription tenorminwithoutrx prednisone over the counter best viagra pills for sale cheapdrugs no viagra_kaufen_schneller_versand can i buy subutex online search,http,sennennomidori,index cheap cialis online india edsave 5mg can you buy cipro 250mg online does clomiphene citrate make you bleed healthy male internet beli cytotec di jakarta o long 100 how to use kegunaan obat doxycycline on line pharmacy with no prescription montelukast stada 10 mg. foro saleonlinedrugs nolvadex 20mg price solone generic viagra soft tabs 50mg can you order cealis from the usa dog antibiotics from canadian pharmacy best over the counter erection pill cialis without prescription generic viagra next day delivery calgary ordering antibiotics from mexico best national pharmacy tadapox buy kako radi tadalafil rx tantra oral jelly finpecia usa 1742 buy tinidazole 500mg canada express levitra where to buy buspar over night whats the street value trizanid... can you order toporol online? herbal oral jelly levitra pro pas cher no prescription fluoxetine cialis online us treatment of lyme disease in dogs purchase tadalafil free samples of fertility pills viagra_online_bestellen_geht shoot up buspirone buying viagra online reviews clomid 100 mg tablets to buy levitra preise degra sildenafil oder doxycycline online canada ordering viagra from cananda finasteride 1mg zovirax cheap with next day shipping generic levitra canada pharmacy hydroxyzine over the counter cialis effectiveness with exercise vardenafil online retin a cream online pharmacy azithromycin 500 mg effective cheap ed pills piyeloseptyl online pharmacies that take paypal cialis mail order usa vip transactions pharmacy orlistat 120 mg retin a cream online india cheap viagra 100mg tablets canada ranitidine tablets 150 mg costo cialis 5 mg se puede tomar alchol con septra ds synthroid without script where can i buy qsymia in canada online canada pharmacy discount cialis quick delivery trimix gel online buy clarisonic brush heads canada buy xenical online for canada sex medicine in bangladesh buy synthroid 75mcg mastercard black market viagra in canada alli orlistat best price viagra super active review buy abortion pill uk online capsule viagra secure place to buy yasmin online my cialis online viagra auf rechnung does lodine get you high achat pills montreal levitra per pay pal zahlen purchasing viagra in canada cytotec in qatar effects ofviagra in women canadian pharmacy valtrex online canadian ed meds buy viagra online paypal uk alli availability update penegra tablets in pakistan uk suppliers of zyban buy burspar 15 mg vira tadalafil capsules over the counter motilium cafergot available in canada cialis online amex malegra dxt reviews can you get high on celebrex clonidine with no perscription nizagra sildenafil buy acyclovir without prescription tetracycline over the counter walgreens buy fluoxetine hcl baclofen street value purchase of lavitra diclofenec mastercard cara menggugurkan pharma online online pharmaccy lavitra--canadian drug order canadianvalium buy cialis online without prescription indian online pharmacy modafinil viagra in urdu ordering levothyroxine in uk genuine viagra 100mg overnight medications periactin pills for sale canadapharmacy24hr online pharmacies that accept paypal canada cheap propecia over the counter viagra buy lexapro online uk 606 pharmacy rx world via medic buy wellbutrin online us pharmacy healthy male viagra acquisto viagra in svizzera snovitra super power no prescription bird biotic doxycycline dogs 24 hour canadian pharmacy discount pharmacy drugs online pharmacy doxycycline 100mg leviteracetam shopping paroxetina on demand fluoxetine sales where to buy 2.5mg cialis online viagra cannada the price of naltrexone in sa canadian pharmacies clavamix viagra for men for home delivery viagra brand for sale viagra 130mg generic buy viagra no prescription order lasix online pastilla doxycycline medrol dose pack online pharmacy usa mentat angine dafalgan codeine where to buy clomid online bodybuilding cialis online, overnight delivery order cialis from canada pharmacy 1 man 1 jar video brand names of atorvastatin in pakistan where to buy indocin medco generic cialis best way to by viagra free hydrocodone samples erection pills walmart pariet 20 mg without prescription viagra no prescription checking account www.viagra for seal xd cialis sample www.onlinepharma buy viagra with paypal account acquisto viagra generico italia fake viagra how to tell getting viagra fast. how to use ashwagandha for weight gain can buy viagra singapore pharmacy xenical 20mg entrega orden pizza en linea online generic cialis online europe viagra in qatar wholesale viagra 100mg triamterene hctz for sale buy ramapril without prescription united states no prescription pharmacy pay for cialis with paypal uk brafix pills amitriptyline amazon how to get viriga tadalafil kaufen clomapramine online order australia misoprostol quanto custa retin a at costco cheap viagra sublingual 100mg for sale sertraline 50 mg without prescription cialis 5g cialis vente au canada lamisil website canada no prescription drug stores buy cheap cialis and viagra on line extra generic super cialis low cost cialis 2.5mg daily prome silagra 100 india buy viagra online canadian company safe meds ltd extrasex accessrx buy viagra online 409 healthy man scam medications without rx takes amex chlorambucil buying sildenafil citrate buy wellbutrin sr 150mg in usa us online pharmacy overnight delivery tadacip online pharmacy cialis online withouth prescription qualityrx buy medicene from india paxil on line thyroid meds no prescripion pharm suppoet group canada cialis prezzi order generic cialis online compare canadian pharcharmy online pharmn norx sildenafil generico order prednisolone without r levothyroxine uk buy buy zovirax online clomid and twins next stage cialis pricing walgreens sertraline online best price cialis 10mg prix pharmacie tinidazole 1000 for ringworm buy_levitra_in_europe angela ginseng made in usa amitriptyline 25mg order motilium no rx india viagra ordonnance viagra salep bactroban lisinopril 10mg tablets prices canadian retina a no prescription norvasc 5mg tab doxepin high primatene mist in canada viagra belgien rezeptfrei envios de cytotec a usa valtrex buy on line in us cialis_5mg_dose amoxil capsule price in pakistan 277 premarin amebidal cheapest viagra soft 100 mg comprar_viagra_original_espana drugs for apollo viagra by phone buy silagra online buy anti biotics online canadian pharmacy 1 buy cheap wellbutrin in usa generic thyroxine, no prescription domperidone buy new zealand buy diazepam 10mg online uk zacpac tablets need tamoxifen fast buy floxin online buy cialis with amex do you need a prescription for estrace how to buy protonix fron canada 585 cipa canadian approved pharmacies articulo 220 buy clomid no prescription pharmacy no prescription tobbot united pharmacy buy prozac online canadian pharmacy healthy man generic viagra suppliers brand name cialis online genrric sildalis kentucky wesleyan college generic viagra sold only in usa cialis per nachnahme kaufen farmacia online italia viagra generico z pack dose 5 day overnighted canadian pharmacy american express how to get viagra in indiana price of cialis in singapore canadian family pharmacy review kamagra made in india office betnovate ointment lowest cost cialis cialis generika rezeptfrei prednisolone canada canadian pharmacys that accept paypal buy kolsin can i buy viagra in cvs pharmacy 387 paroxitine canada does aetna pay for cialis pfizer viagra online canada pharmacy no prescription online pharmacy viagra online prescription free viagra soft tabs 100mg donde comprar prilogy en usa rate list cipla generic products otc prednisone walmart sildenafil plus cream cialis 5mg preis cvscanada online_viagra_kaufen walmart price for viagra prednisone rx mexico no rx overnight to usa 2 mg estradiol buy synthroid mexico buy albendazole online fungsi obat meloxicam vardenafil cheap 5 mg price purchase hyzaar over the counter is atlantic drugs legit where can i cialis viagra samples usa review-no-prescription-online-pharmacy buy minocycline fast delivery viagra online pharmacy reviews 2013 cialis in kenya buy tadalafil generic purchase medicine amoxicillin articulo 195 cheapest cialis 20mg tadalafil kopen where to buy clomid online safely kamagra and the fda roxithromycin buy online fluconazole 200mg Astros-holic Synonymous

Archive for November, 2006

I Doughn’t Know Who’s (in) Right For The 2007 Astros

Thursday, November 30th, 2006

Time to talk about right fielders, since we don’t have one.

Let me start by commenting on a comment submitted by Karen on Sunday’s column:
“I’m no expert, but if Carlos Lee is not a really good left fielder, why not move him to another position so we can keep Luke? I can’t stomach the thought of losing Luke Scott! Talk about someone with a future!”
Girlfriend!!! Stop talking sense!!!!!
but what the heck, here’s the answers:

1 – Carlos Lee is getting paid 16.6 million. More than Lance, whose jockstrap he is not fit to carry. So that makes Carlos the top dog on the totem pole. Who knows if he COULD play right, which is a LOT easier to play in the Box than left. Point is, if he don’t wanna, he don’t hafta. And oh yes it IS all about the $$$ – remember how Phil wouldn’t bench Preston last year when it was MORE than clear that he should – remember all the talk about – he came here to play, he’s getting paid to play blahblahblahblah. What it meant was that 4 mill is more than the minimum Burke and Scott were getting, so that’s what mattered.

2 – The problem with Luke Scott is that he does not fit a stereotype of what a “prospect” should be – he’s “old” – which means, why should you even think about getting even 3 good years out of an “old guy” when you could get none instead.

So here’s where things stand – Aubrey Huff would put us over payroll and besides, he’s lousy, we all KNOW they are gonna trade/DFA Jason Lane, Hunter Pence is probably not ready for the majors, Charlton Jimerson will break Adam Dunn’s K record and Orlando Palmeiro is not a full time player. Or a good hitter. AND he has NO power. (Yeah, I suppose they can try Burke out there – he IS a great athlete and I’m sure he could run down balls and he CAN hit the cutoff man. But Burke is a great hitter for a 2B, not a corner OF. Luke Scott is a LF, not exactly a gold glover there, and he is a total butcher in right. But of course, looks like this team no longer cares about lousy defense, so youneverknow…)

Here’s the team so far best I can tell:
SP – Roy
SP – Woody
SP 3-5: Hirsh/Albers/Nieve/Sampson/Buchholz
RP – Wheeler, Qualls, Miller
(I think they will resign Springer, so I’ll add him in here)
Got a feeling they will get rid of Brad Lidge – he’s gonna cost over 5 mill. And besides, I think we all know that Albert Pujols destroyed him. (sarcasm, OK???!!!)

Position Players:
1B – Lance
2B – Biggio
3B – Lamb
SS – Everett (I think the pitchers will rebel if the team trades away the only good defensive player left)
C – Ausmus
LF – Lee
CF – Taveras
RF – ???
UT – Palmeiro, Burke, Bruntlett ? Brooks Conrad?

I’m pretty sure they will get rid of Ensberg – they been wanting to find an excuse for 6 years – and they will regret it BIG time.

I would guess Luke Scott is trade bait, and probably Burke, too, which would mean that Brooks Conrad will be the other utililty guy.

So best I can tell, guys on the trade block are Scott, Burke, Lidge, Ensberg – They luuuvvv Bruntlett – I think they would rather trade Burke. And they might could also trade Willy T – IF they got something good – Burke can play center, after all. AND Willy’s agent is Scott Boras, so he’s gonna be gone sooner or later, I would think.

Possible young pitchers on the trade block – Hirsh, Astacio (I HOPE), Buchholz, Sampson (I hope not), Wandy
They are in luuuvvv with Albers, and I don’t think he’s gonna be traded.

So let’s see who the ML RF are, since we gonna need one:
First, guys who are DEFINITELY not going anywhere: (in my opinion)
- Alex Rios, age 25, Blue Jays. He’s cheap, young, very good, and they don’t have another option after getting rid of Cattalanotto
- Milton Bradley, age 29, A’s – he’s good, cheap, and he loves it there
- Magglio Ordonez – 2 words – Scott Boras
- Vlad Guerrero, age 32, Angels – their only great hitter. He’s not available.
- Randy Winn, age 34, Giants – in the middle of a 3 year contract. Sabean doesn’t WANT young players. I suppose we could trade Mo Ensberg for him- they NEED a 3B. Watch Mo get tutored by Barry Lamar Himself and win the MVP…
- Brian Giles, age 37, Padres – has a complete no trade. He ain’t leavin home.
- Jermaine Dye – not a snowflakes chance in heck the Sox would trade him
- Nick Markakis, age 24, Orioles – cheap, young and a stud. Angelos wouldn’t trade Miguel Tejada for Taveras, plus Everett plus Lidge PLUS Ensberg. Markakis ain’t leaving.
- Bobby Abreu, age 32, lead glove, power bat died after last year’s home run derby. He costs 15 mill a year and he has a no trade besides. Anyhow, the Astros fans gonna hate him – he walks a LOT. And just like Mo Ensberg, for some odd reason he won’t swing at ball 4.
- Jeremy Hermida, age 23, Marlins. He’s gonna get paid minimum wage by Loria for the next 2 years. Loria won’t trade him unless we could come up with at least one prospect as valuable who could get minimum wage for THREE years. We got no one like that.
- Moises Alou, age 40 – just signed a 1 year deal with the Mets. I kept hearing how he wanted to come back to Houston, but he’s not wanted here. I would guess it might could have something to do with his 1 year DL stint from “falling off a treadmill”
- Jeff Francoer, age 23, Braves. They LUUUVVVV him. Even though he strikes out a lot and won’t walk. He’s not going anywhere this year.
- Carlos Quentin – the Dbax are NOT trading this guy. Period. He looks like MVP material to them. And to me too.

Guys who are either signed already or are under a team’s control but might could get traded:
- Reggie Sanders, age 37, Royals. Was hurt most of last year. Was a fine fielder when healthy, although it was a down year for his bat. Has always played well in the Box. I wanted us to sign him last year instead of Preston Wilson. Ah well… We could probably get him for Wandy. Or Astacio.
- Casey Blake, age 33, Indians – costs 3.75 mill, the team just exercised his option, has decent bat and glove and is dirt cheap. Would probably take either Mo Ensberg or Brad Lidge
- Michael Cuddyer, age 28, Twins – first year of arb. Decent bat, lousy glove. I suppose he COULD be traded, but Twins GM Terry Ryan is a LOT smarter than Astros GM Drayton McLane so I would expect another AJ Punch/Nathan/Liriano/Bonser trade with the Astros on the bad end.
- Juan Encarnacion, age 30, Cards. I’d rather keep him THEIR problem.
- Shawn Green, age 34. Terrible bat, terrible glove. HUGE salary. PLEEZE, NOOOOOOO
- Jacque Jones, age 32. Can NOT hit leftys at ALL. Terrible glove with an arm like Bess Clemens. A platoon guy at best who has to be pulled for DR.
- Geoff Jenkins, age 32. Seems it wasn’t but 2 years ago he had the best RF glove in the NL. But he’s gone downhill with both the bat and glove FAST and last year he was just awful. He’s gonna cost the Brew Crew 7 mill this year, the last year of his contract, and they are eager to get rid of him and I would bet they’d trade him for Astacio AND eat most of his contract, too. Best I can tell, and from what I’ve heard from Brewer fans, he’s washed up. But he’s another USC guy and you know how we luuuvvv them guys from USC… But he’s another lefty who can’t hit leftys, so he would need to be platooned.
- Xavier Nady, age 28, Pirates. The prospect evaluators all thought he was gonna be great when he was a prospect, but things don’t always turn out the way they predict. He’s a below average bat for a corner OF – a career .755 OPS, and has medium power, and has an average glove. But I think he’s arb eligible this year and guess who his agent is????? Yep. See, he ain’t the debbil – he doesn’t dump clients who are mediocre.
- Austin Kearns, age 26, Nats. Me, I think this guy is grossly undervalued. I would LOVE to have him on our team. He’s a fantastic fielder, hits for decent power and runs well. But he (horrors) strikes out and walks a lot and that will NOT go over here. It’s only his second arb year and he would be pretty cheap. I wouldn’t trade Burke for him, but I would a couple of pitchers not named Roy or Sampson. They wouldn’t want Mo Ensberg – they already got a great 3B. I don’t know who his agent is – couldn’t find it on google.
- Brad Hawpe, a TEXAN!!! age 27, Rockies – had a career year last year and he’s pre-arb. He’s not another Dante Bichette/ Vinny Castilla Coors Creation – he hits better away. He’s a below average glove. I haven’t hear anything about the Rox having him on the trade block. But youneverknow – I hear they want Chris Burke, in spite of just having signed Kaz Matsui.
- Jay Gibbons/Kevin Mench – too el Suck for words
- Damon Hollins, age 32, D-Rays – a glove man, mostly – career .701 OPS. Never had more than 330 AB in any year. Is a cheap pre-arbguy, but not bettern Lane, who I am POSITIVE will be gone.
- David Dellucci, age 33. Just signed by the Indians to a cheap 3 year contract. A good lefty bat who has had his best seasons the last 2 years. Of course, he’s been platooned, but then again, he pretty much always was. He is supposed to have a below average glove.
Free Agents still not signed:
- J.D. (Nancy) Drew, age 30. Two words. Scott Boras. I heard 4 years 70 mill with the Red Sox (snicker)
- Trot Nixon, age 32. Dude is almost always hurt. Too bad, because he used to be very good. A backup bench guy at best.
- Jose Guillen – age 32, Nats – is pretty darn good, both bat and glove. He was hurt most of last year and is coming off Tommy John surgery. He has the reputation of being a redass, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers. And he might could be cheaper than you’d think. AND no Scott Boras neither.
- Gabe Kapler, age 31 – a part time guy since 2001 when he was with the Rangers. Good glove. OPS last 3 years around Adam Everett level. But you know, I gotta hand it to this guy – he was a 57th round pick by the Tigers in 05 and he was playing pretty much full time by 98 and he’s managed to land himself a job somewhere every year since. I gotta take my hat off to the guy. Even though I don’t want him as our full time RF.
-Jay Payton, age 34 – been with the A’s. He’ll expect to play full time, no matter what he originally says to the team that wants to sign him. Decent glove and can play center. Well, he’s one of those low walks low K, fairly high BA that the Stros fans seem to want. Lifetime .743 OPS. Very few homers, 20 – 30 doubles a year. He has said he wants to stay with the A’s. He should be cheap, but he’ll hit just a lil bettern Willy Taveras. He drove in 59 runs batting 5th, 6th or 7th – almost as much as Adam Everett in the 8 hole, so I wouldn’t count on him as a run producer.
- Matt Stairs, age 39. He broke out at age 29 with the “softball team” Billy Beane A’s in 97. He’s hit great every year but last year ever since. Problem is he played exactly 3 games in the OF last year and 15 games the year before. So he would be a lefty off the bench, really, which we don’t need.
- Craig Wilson, age 29. A good righty power bat. I have never understood why the Pirates organization disliked and disrespected this guy, who is a good and patient hitter. (By the way, he’s 6′2″ 225 lb. Go look at him then look at Carlos Lee and see if you think Carlos only weighs 10 lbs more…) The only year he played full time, he had a .853 OPS, and he played 60% of the time in right. Of course, he doesn’t have the greatest glove, he was originally a catcher and for some reason, the Pirates didn’t want to leave him there, but he isn’t worse than Jason Lane. He does strike out a lot – even more than Mo Ensberg (horrified gasp) so I guess he wouldn’t be a good fit here, although I would bet he’s gonna be VERY cheap

So, I guess I would either try to trade for Kearns or try to sign Jose Guillen, who should both be pretty cheap.
I would also think that signing Craig Wilson, who should also be very cheap, would be great – we could use another RH power bat who can play first and right.

If anyone has a subscription to BA or any other minor league evaluating site and would like to suggest top AAA 3B whose club might could agree to trade them, please feel free to suggest them.

Let’s Talk About Dough – 2007 Astros Payroll Estimate

Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

Yo, I don’t think we should talk about this
Come on, why not?
People might misunderstand what I’m tryin’ to say, you know?
No, but that’s a part of life

Let’s talk about Astros’ dough
Let’s talk about Carlos Lee
Let’s talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let’s talk about $$$
Let’s talk about wins
Let’s talk about pitching
Let’s talk about bats

Let’s talk about ballplayers gettin paid to the people at home or in the Box
It keeps coming up anyhow
Don’t decoy, avoid, or make void the topic
Cuz that ain’t gonna stop it

Now we talk about money on the internet and baseball shows
Many will know anything goes
Let’s tell it how it is, and how it could be
How it was, and of course, how it should be
Those who think it’s hopeless have a choice
Turn to soccer, press click, or turn the sportscasters off
Will that stop us, Stros fans? I doubt it
All right then, come on, Yall
(with apologies to Salt-n-Pepa)

Here’s the market:
1 -we’ve got Aramis Ramirez, all hit and no glove 3B for the Cubs getting 15 mill a year for 5 years – AND they can’t put him at first in 2 years, they already got Derrek Lee there.
2 -we’ve got Mark DeRosa, a part time utility infielder getting 3 years at 13 mill
3 -we’ve got Gary Matthews Jr., 32 years old, an average CF with the glove, who has been DFA three times in his career, who had a career year this past year, getting FIVE years 50 mill. Yes, you read that right.
4 – we’ve got Juan Pierre, age 29, a good fielding CF with an arm like a 10 year old girl and a career OBP of 350 and OPS of 728 getting signed to hit leadoff at 9 million a year for FIVE years to a team that ALREADY has Rafael Furcal, a VERY good leadoff guy, to hit leadoff.
we’ve got Alfonso Soriano, age 31 signed for 17 mill a year for EIGHT YEARS to play CF, a position he’s never played before.
5 – we’ve got a 35 year old LOOGY, Jamie Walker, getting signed by Baltimore to a THREE year contract at 4 mill a year. Mind you, this guy was released by the effing ROYALS in 2000. This is for a guy who has pitched 48 innings a year for the last 2 years and has a career ERA+ of 112. Trever Miller must really regret signing a 2 year contract last year.
6 – we’ve seen the Yankees resign Mike Mussina to a 2 year contract at 11.5 mill a year. And that is IT.

JD Drew has not yet signed – Scott Boras, as usual, smelled BIG money.
Remember I told yall that the teams were up to their eyeballs in dough (like I said, if Scott Boras says there is money, THAT I believe. That man he got a nose for money like, like – um, French pigs for truffles…)

Well, at least they are awash in dough THIS year. What worries me is all the too long contracts being thrown around like candy. What is the probability that Alfonso Soriano will actually be worth 17 mill a year when he is 39 years old? Remember, guys get permanently hurt – Albert Belle, Jeff Bagwell, to name a few guys who were almost never out of the lineup who had a very premature end to their careers…

Well, lets see where we are:
here’s the 40 man roster – notice that J.R. House and Jailen Peguro (the closer at AA last year) are gone…
(salaries, years courtesy of Cots’ Baseball Contracts) ALSO notice that Phil Barzilla, a LEFTY (and yall KNOW Phil craves leftys) is not on the roster and (yecccch) Astacio is.

SP – Matt Albers, RHP, age 24, mostly in AAA – sat on his butt in the ML for most of September – the Organization likey this guy
SP/RP – Ezequiel Astacio, RHP, age 27 – spent the year in AAA. Where he belongs.
SP – Brandon Backe -DL for Tommy John surgery 2007 -
SP – Jimmy Barthmaier, RHP, age 23 – just finished high A – started 27 games, 146 IP (5.1 IP/ GS), 3.62 ERA, 1.39 WHIP, 4.11 BB/9 IP, 8.11 K/ 9 IP
RP – Dave Borkowski, RHP, age 30 – threw 71 innings (and 7 in AAA) ended up 3-2 with a 4.69 ERA and 1.31 WHIP and a 97 ERA+
SP – Taylor Buchholz, RHP, age 25 – sigh. he looked like an ace in April and AAA in September. Let’s hope Dave Wallace can fix him
RP – Paul Estrada, RHP age 24 – just finished AA , was closer after Jailen Peguro was promoted to AAA. Threw 81 innings, 3.05 ERA, 1.11 WHIP; 3.76 BB/9; 13.60 K/9
SP – Juan Gutierrez, RHP age 23 – just finished AA. appeared in 20 games, pitched 103.2 innings – 3.04 ERA; 1.23WHIP; 2.95 BB/9; 9.20 K/9 IP
SP – Jason Hirsh, RHP age 25 – was good or lousy. Had a great first half in AAA – hope Wallace is good for him
RP – Brad Lidge, RHP age 30 – before we tell him that he should not let the door hit his ass on the way out, we SHOULD remember that there are a WHOLE lot of teams drooling over this guy. I heard some rumor bout him to the Red Sox for (gag) Wily Mo Pena. PuhLEEEEZE…
SP – Mark McLemore, LHP age 26 – was hurt most of last year. Had a 2.81 ERA in 52 IP – but a 1.47 WHIP because he walks (gulp) 6 guys/9 IP and Ks 8/9 IP. Still, we NEED leftys.
RP – Trever Miller, LHP age 34 – our LOOGY signed, sealed and delivered. 3.02 ERA – 50 IP over 70 games.
SP/RP – Fernando Nieve RHP age 24 – started 11 games, relieved in 29. At this point, looks like either the #5 guy or a middle reliever.
ACE – Roy Oswalt RHP age 29 – that 14 mill a year looks cheap now
SP – Felipe Paulino RHP AGE 23 – got NO idea why this guy is on the 40 man. just finished high A, started 26 games over 126 innings with a 4.35 ERA; 1.41 WHIP; 4.21 BB/9 IP; 6.29 K/9 IP. What. do they think this guy is the next Johan Santana?
RP – Chad Qualls RHP age 27 – decent pitcher – 88.1 IP in 81 games with a 3.76 ERA and a 1.17 WHIP. There is talk about making him a SP, but he hasn’t started a game since 2004 in AAA. He’d need another pitch…
SP/RP – Wandy Rodriguez, LHP age 27 – well, he ain’t gonna turn into no Tom Glavine, but I still root for the lil guy. He started off last year great, then backslid. Hoping Wallace can fix him too.
SP – Chris Sampson RHP age 28. I put SP there because it is just a waste to shove him in middle relief and he’s not a closer type guy. He darn well better be in the rotation is all I can say.
RP – Dan Wheeler RHP age 29 – one of the best set up guys. And can close if he needs to, also. Amazing. This guy was picked by the Devil Rays in the 34th round, released by them, then released by the Braves, then traded by the Mets to us for a minor leaguer who turned up positive for roids. He’s had an ERA+ of 172, 188 and 180 since he joined the Stros.
SP – Woody Williams, age 40, our new FA
C – Brad Ausmus, RH, age 38 – not Mike Piazza 1999 with the bat, that’s fer SHER.
C – Hector Gimenez, SH, age 24
C – Humberto Quintero RH, age 27
1B, RF- Lance Berkman SH, age 31
2B – Craig Biggio RH, age 41
IF, CF – Eric Bruntlett RH, age 29
IF – Brooks Conrad SH, age 27 (no one took him in the Rule V last year)
3B – Morgan Ensberg RH, age 31
SS – Adam Everett RH, age 30
1B, 3 B – Mike Lamb LH, age 31
LF – Josh Anderson LH, age 24
2B, CF – Chris Burke RH, age 27
OF – Charlton Jimerson RH, age 27
RF – Jason Lane RH, age 30
OF – Orlando Palmeiro LH, age 38
OF – Mike Rodriguez LH, age 26
LF – Luke Scott LH, age 28
CF – Willy Taveras RH, age 25
LF – Carlos Lee, age 30

Last year, the 25 man roster (not including Roger) $92,551,503. The other guys on the 40 man made somewhere between $800,000 and a mill, say, and Roger cost around 12.25 mill. so we spent somewhere around 104 – 105 mill last year on the 40 man. We had the third highest payroll in baseball, by the way…

So this year, we have the following amounts we will spend fer SHER:
Jeff Bagwell – 7 mill
Lance Berkman – 14.5 mill
Roy Oswalt – 13 mill
Craig Biggio – 5.15 mill
Brad Ausmus – 3.5 mill
Trever Miller – 1.3 mill
Orlando Palmeiro – 0.95 mill
Carlos Lee – 16.6 mill
Woody Williams – 6.25 mill

Right there is 68.25 mill (and we are already committed to 51.35 mill for 08!!!!!) And Purpura is on record saying the payroll is gonna be high 80s low 90s, remember!!!!!

So, let’s assume it is gonna be 90 mill (take the midpoint) – this means there is exactly 21.75 mill left for all the other guys, which means that I think a whole lot of arb guys are gonna be gone.

Let’s look:
arbitration eligible: (what they made in 06; and assuming we re-sign everybody)
Adam Everett – 1.9 mill
Mike Lamb – 1.7 mill
Brad Lidge – 3.975 mill (plus what he’ll get in arb)
Mo Ensberg – 3.8 mill (plus arb)
Dan Wheeler – 0.95 mill
Jason Lane – 0.45 mill
Eric Bruntlett – 0.365 mill

That equals 13.4 mill minimum – assuming no one gets a raise, which will not happen. I can’t see them getting rid of either Dan Wheeler or Mike Lamb.

NOT arb eligible: (say 600 apiece for the first 4 guys and 340K for the rest – I’m not sure what the ML minimum is this year, but it went up:
Brandon Backe (believe it or not) – 0.35 mill
Willy Taveras – 0.4 mill
Chad Qualls – 0.375 mill
Chris Burke – 0.365 mill
Humberto Quintero – 0.335 mill (not bad for playing most the whole year in AAA)
Matt Albers – 0.327 mill
Josh Anderson – 0.327 mill
Ezequiel Astacio – 0.327 mill
Jimmy Barthmaier – 0.327 mill
Taylor Buchholz – 0.327 mill
Hector Giminez – 0.327 mill
Juan Gutierrez – 0.327 mill
Jason Hirsh – 0.327 mill
Charlton Jimerson – 0.327 mill
Fernando Nieve – 0.327 mill
Wandy Rodriguez – 0.327 mill
Chris Sampson – 0.327 mill
Luke Scott – 0.327 mill
Brooks Conrad – minors
Paul Estrada – minors
Mark McLemore – minors
Felipe Paulino – minors
Mike Rodriguez – minors

The non-arb eligible minimum is 7.165 mill

The 2007 total absolute minimum = $88.82 mill.

This does not include FA -
Aubrey Huff – contract was for 6.75 mill
Russ Springer (who wants to come back) 0.75 mill
Joe Borkowski – 0.327 mill (I guess)
Eric Munson – 0.327 mill
Joe Mc Ewing – minors
Carlos Hernandez – minors

I would guess we would re-sign Russ Springer – he was worth the money. Borkowski is gonna get a raise from SOMEone.

So I sure don’t see any money left to sign Pettitte, Piazza or any other FA.

IF McLane was serious about cutting the payroll 10% – and you notice that with all the hoo-hah over how McLane is finally “spending” on Lee and Williams, that none of the media has gotten around to asking him why he’s cutting payroll…

Let’s Get This Straight – Astros Lose 2007 Draft Picks Part 2

Sunday, November 26th, 2006

I got more emails on last Friday’s column than any other one I’ve ever written. Mostly telling me I am stupid (sorry, I am trying to keep this site clean so I have edited out the bad words. ALL of them…)

So let’s get these little, uh, misunderstandings straight: (especially for yall who couldn’t tell a sarcastic remark if it was written in flashing lights)

I DO NOT WANT TO TRADE ADAM EVERETT FOR ANYONE!!! (well, OK, unless it’s straight up for Johan Santana.) He is by FAR the best fielding shortstop in baseball and last year, he was the best defensive player in the entire major leagues by every defensive evaluation system out there (except Baseball Prospectus – I don’t subscribe to them and I have no idea what they say.) He saved this team 30 runs. And he drove in more runs than anyone else in the lineup except Lance Berkman, seeing as how so many people are so into RBIs. He’s the freaking #8 hitter. It is beyond stupid to trade the #8 hitter, who is the best fielder at the toughest position in the major leagues, because he is not a good enough hitter.

I DO NOT WANT TO TRADE OR DFA MORGAN ENSBERG!!! He is head and shoulders better than Aubrey Huff with both bat and glove. I am tired of hearing how terrible it is that he walks instead of swinging at pitches out of the strike zone. I am tired of hearing about how he strikes out looking, like grounding out like Carlos Lee does is such a much better way to make an out. This Organization and the local media have been hating on him since the day he almost got killed in that holdup back in 2000. I do NOT get it and I never have. I think all that “he needs to be more aggressive at the plate” complaining is a stinking, rotting sack of horse poopoo.

I DO NOT WANT TO GET RID OF ALMOST EVERY PLAYER WE HAVE WHO IS YOUNG AND ARB ELIGIBLE OR PRE ARB OR OUR ONLY 2 GOOD PROSPECTS WE HAVE IN THE MINOR LEAGUES!!! Especially not for Vernon Wells, who will be a one year rental because he is a FA next year and his agent is NOT stupid. Wells will be 28, is a GG CF and Soriano, 2 years older who has never played CF just got 8 YEARS, 136 mill.

CARLOS LEE DOES NOT WEIGH 235 OR EVEN 240 POUNDS!!! He weighs at LEAST 275 – and it is NOT muscle, it is FAT. I am not saying that Carlos won’t help with the bat next year. I AM saying that for reasons I can NOT understand, seems almost everybody conveniently is forgetting that he will be on the team for at LEAST 3 years more. This is like being glad you are having a baby, somehow forgetting that after age 1, they are not a baby, they are a child and they will be with you for the next 17 years. At LEAST.

I do NOT understand why anyone could possibly think that Lee will maintain his 2006 hitting stats for an entire SIX years. He is not now and never was a Manny Ramirez or even a Jeff Bagwell quality hitter. Carlos has 78 RCAA (thank you Lee Sinins) over the entire 6 years he has played in the major leagues. Albert Pujols had that many this YEAR alone. Or if you would prefer another LF – this year Manny Ramirez had 60 – but of course he’s already 34. Looks like he had 80 RCAA his age 30 season. (In case you are curious, Lee had 23 RCAA this year. The much maligned Mo Ensberg had 19.)

I STILL do not understand why you think that Carlos Lee will give better production over the next 6 years than Luke Scott will – and Luke Scott will cost around 90 mill less. I would like even ONE of yall telling me what a dumb **** I am to point out ANY left fielder who weighs 275 pounds at age 31 who maintained his age 30 hitting production for the next 6 years of his life – and he has to have only played either right of left field – no 1B, no DH. Or even the next four. (OK, Babe Ruth. But ain’t none of yall gonna try to convince me that Carlos is in his class.)

Remember you always have to weigh the runs he costs us against the runs he creats. They BOTH matter, even if you want to ignore the one.

I do not understand WHY on earth you think Gerry Hunsicker would be stupid enough to trade Carl Crawford to us for the few cheap young pitchers we have. Gerry Hunsicker is a LOT smarter about player evaluation and value than Drayton is, which is why Drayton got rid of him. He’s still laughing about stealing Benny Zobrist and Mitch Talbot for 2 months of Aubrey Huff.

And please, let’s get real – there is like NO way that Purpura is making ANY decisions about the roster of this ballclub. Like I told one guy – Purpura is the yessest yes man I’ve ever seen. It is why Drayton threw Gerry out on his ass and replaced him with the Puppet.

I do not understand WHY on earth we should trade the few cheap young players we actually have for Miguel Cabrera – that is, even if Loria WOULD trade him to us. He’s already grossly obese and he simply can’t play third – he makes Mike Lamb look like Scott Rolen. We can’t stick him at first or in left. He’s going to be a FA in 2 years. You wanna make a guess how much $$$ he’s going to be getting at age 27, even if he can only DH by then?

I do not understand why so many of yall honestly think that defense means basically nothing. You want hitters who are terrible fielders. WHY can’t yall seem to understand that bad fielders give up runs – allow runs to score for the other team – because they don’t get to the ball or can’t throw the ball? Why do you think that allowing hits and runs doesn’t matter?

I do not understand why so many of yall want to play Yankees and get rid of all our good young players (except Willy Taveras, because he steals, I guess) for old aging sluggers. Exactly WHERE has this gotten the Yankees? First place in the division and nothing to show for it since 2000. Big freaking deal.

This is not fantasy baseball where you get points just for RBIs, BA, HR and SB. This is not a hitting only world. Who here HONESTLY thinks that the Tigers’ horrible fielding had nothing to do with them losing the WS and it was all because of the suberb St. Louis pitchers and the overpowering St. Louis bats of So Taguchi and WS MVP David Eckstein and their unending torrents of XBH?

And last – can we PLEASE stop talking about Roger and Andy? It sounds just like people talking about their exes. It is time to move on. Because they obviously have moved on too. (Also, because unless Purpura is flat out lying about this year’s payroll, we got no more money to spend…)

Astros Lose 1st and 2nd Round 2007 Draft Picks

Friday, November 24th, 2006

Well, as all yall know, today is the High Holy Day for American Females – the biggest shopping day of the year. First we’re thankful we got credit cards, THEN we shop to prove it.

So today, I headed out with a few gf after giving Husband the usual long list of last minute instructions that men pretend to listen to but ignore and told him I’d be back after dinner and before midnight. So for some reason, us girls decided to leave the mall early and beat the rush to the checkout and the rush out of the parking lot.

Or maybe we were all just tired, but I did get home at 7:45 and there was Husband at the door with a slightly anxious face. He looked at me, then looked relieved. When that boy looks worried, then relaxes, I KNOW something up. Actually I’m pretty blessed – Husband can’t lie worth a darn and kidsss can’t keep a secret.

Kidsss all come running up – 3 little boys all talking at once, I THINK I hear – itza a hunnert million dollars whazinna bags cn we see whatchu get wherezz minnnnnne??? Normal there.

Dogsss all look fine – no missing paws, hair not dyed green, chunks not bitten out of them or something, house seems OK, can’t smell something burning, it seems as clean as can be expected with 3 little kidsss living in it.

So I say to Husband – you might as well tell me now. No, he says, not until you sit down and eat. Husband is convinced that everything in life is easier to deal with on a full stomach. Which is, I guess, why his stomach is always full. I actually AM a little hungry – shopping in a huge crowd of eager bargain hunting females take a LOT of energy, let me tell yall men.

So Husband fixes me a plate of cold turkey and hot dressing with gravy (yeah, we DID have leftovers) and a glass of milk and waits until I’ve finished.

Husband sez, I guess you didn’t talk to your Mama? And actually, I didn’t – my cell battery died around noon. So I got just a lil impatient and said – out with it.

Deep sigh.

The Stros signed Woody Williams to a 2 year contract with a 3rd year option (actually 2 years for 12.5 mill with a club option for a 3rd year at 6.5 million…) Well, that’s fine with me. Woody must be one of the happiest guys in the majors – he’s always wanted to play for his hometown Astros – he’s only said so on the record bout a zillion times and 6 mill a year is very good for a decent SP – even if he IS 40 years old. Heck, there ARE guys who can pitch at age 40 – Kenny Rogers, Jamie Moyer, Roger Clemens… (And I LIKE having homies on the roster – I do NOT like that seems we only have scouts in California and not Texas.)

But that ain’t all. Nope. Deep breath.

Carlos Lee was signed for 6 years 100 million. I had that very bad feeling that we were gonna do something that freaking stupid, so I wasn’t as upset as I would have been for, say, signing Gary Matthews Jr for 5 years 50 mill or Soriano 8 years for 136 mill. All I want to know is – was Drayton stupid enough to give that lump of lard a no-trade? Ida know, sez Husband, they didn’t say.

(UPDATE: 11/25 – the first four years are no trade. Too stupid for words. And to respond to all the emails telling me I am a stupid moron for not liking this deal, let me say this – Lee might could be fine next year. But there are FIVE more years after that and a whole lot of people out there can’t seem to understand that fat outfielders do not continue to produce at the same level they did when they were 29. And we will be paying him 16.6 mill a year for all those lousy years. )

I have NO freaking idea how that outfield is supposed to field. I guess this means both Jason Lane and Luke Scott are going to be traded – Lane, because he failed last year and Luke Scott, because he’s a LF without a position. And with Orlando Palmeiro, we don’t need another lefty off the bench. Hey, maybe we can sign Aubrey Huff to play right and give him a 7 year contract at 12 mill a year!!! Of course, he’s alousy RF. Well, I don’t guess that matters, seeing as how people really think it does not matter if a fielder can catch or throw a ball, as long as he hits home runs. We are going to end up eating a LOT of that contract because Lee is, I guess, unwilling to not see if he can get fatter than Bartolo Colon and Kirby Puckett combined and Lee will need to be traded to the AL as a DH in a few years, that is, if he can manage not to break his back or knees with all that excess fat.

So I called Mama. She was grim. Unless every pitcher manages to induce grounders to short, he’s gonna see his ERA go up by at LEAST 1.5 runs. And, she said, because of the terrible defense, they are gonna try to strike out every hitter and home run field will return. This was a really stupid signing, she said. Every stat geek she knows agrees. (Mitchel Lichtman, a well known defensive stat geek says “This is the worst signing of the off-season. It is horrendous. I defended the Soriano and Matthews signings. This one is indefensible. Lee, by all rights, is a terrible defender at this point in his career (interestingly, prior to 05, his UZR was above average). His baserunning lwts also took a nose-dive in 05. That and his UZR decline suggests that he has lost his speed. He is an average left fielder overall at best. At best. This signing has all the earmarks of a stupid team overvaluing a player – signing for big bucks a corner outfielder (not properly adjusting for defensive position) who is past his prime, just had a career year in offense, has good garbage stats, and is a terrible defender.”

Can I think of something good to say about this deal? I’ll try. At least Carlos Lee actually WANTED to play here, unlike that freaking *($^@! Carlos the Jackal, who was signing a book deal called “My First Year In Pinstripes” while offering the Yankees a below market deal, all while he was supposedly negotiating with the Astros, then came out with a supposed demand for a no trade clause AFTER he had already signed with the Mets. So that is ONE good thing I can say about THIS Carlos. And I’m reasonably certain we can get one good year of hitting, unless he gets hurt lugging all that lard around.

I’m sure the fans who have been screaming for us to DO SOMETHING are ecstatic. They will be the same ones screaming how Carlos sucks and is hurting the team and let himself go to heck with conditioning as soon as he had the security of that huge contract. Well, at least Carlos will ground out instead of striking out because that is really really important for the fans. HOW you make the outs counts for a LOT. GO to SS, 2B = good. K = bad.

Now, maybe they can get back to screaming how we need to dump that dead bat Adam Everett, who is worthless and strikes out for a REAL bat like, say Felipe Lopez (who was the worst fielding SS in the majors last year but is a good hitter) cuz your #8 hitter should be hitting like Lance. And DFA that no good Mo Ensberg who does terrible things like WALK and put Mike Lamb at third full time and play Eric Bruntlett for tough leftys. It will be so great to have a team that hits like the Yankees and fields like them too.
These self same fans luuuuuuuvvvvv Willy Taveras and his leadoff .333 OBP, who struck out 8 times less than the hated Mo Ensberg, and walked only 34 times AND hit like crap with MOB.


Now all we need to do is sign Mike Piazza to catch, DFA Ausmus, trade Burke, Lidge, Lane, Hirsh, Ensberg, Sampson, Pence and Albers and any young player who hits worse than Berkman or pitches worse than Roy for Wily Mo Pena and some LOOGY and we will be all set.
I’m SURE Roger Clemens will be HAPPY to sign with a team that will score a whole lot of runs, but will make the Yankees fielders look like the 2000 Mets, so he can watch his ERA go on up to 5.


Husband says – look Baby, these guys KNOW the market this year is very expensive and they hafta make stupidly long contracts in order to sign a guy for 1 year or even 2 years. Maybe they are actually figuring that they are actually paying 100 mil for 2 or 3 years and are not counting on getting anything more – maybe Scott Boras IS right and the owners got so much money they hardly know what to do with it.
The 33 million dollar a year player.

Barry Lamar Dog pokes his nose at my elbow and whines gently – he knows I’m up set and is trying to ask why and cheer me up. I tell him, well Dog, problem is we shoulda signed the REAL Barry Lamar to a 1 year contract so we won’t be in trouble in 3 years when we can’t move this dead weight.

So to speak.

Oh yeah, we are losing our top two draft picks this year. Like our farm is so stacked who needs to get top young players anyhow? I suppose it doesn’t really matter – we haven’t done very well at picking in the top 2 rounds for the last 5 years.

I’ll talk about the payroll and the farm next week. Once I get undepressed enough to do it.

Berkman Bests The Jackal In 2006 MVP Voting

Monday, November 20th, 2006

Me, I’m not gonna get into the was Pujols jobbed out of the MVP (seeing as how he’s an excellent fielder and Ryan Howard is Mo Vaughn/Jason Giambi clueless with the glove) debate.
I was pretty sure Howard was gonna win because he had more homers and RBIs. Of course, he also had Chase Utley and Uncle had, um, he had, um, uh, Sam Dude in front of him and (giggle) Juan Encarnacion or Preston Wilson “protecting” him.

But I was quite surprised the Jackal ended up behind Lance. Now it is true that without Lance, the Astros would have looked like the Cubs/Royals/D-Rays, but usually the writers prefer a guy on a team that wins the division, as the Mets did.

But here it is - Beltran only batted .275 even though he hit 41 homers and drove in 116 (from the 2 hole!!!) and scored 127 runs. Lance batted .315, hit 45 homers, drove in 136 and scored 95 from the 3 hole.

Lance is an OK first baseman – say, league average. But the Jackal is simply outstanding as a defender, much as I hate to say anything good about him.

And seems to me the voters looked at average, RBI and homers and that’s about it. I’m not sure why so many people hold defense in such contempt. Seems people think that saving runs and throwing runners out doesn’t matter. But defense DOES matter – see Alex Gonzalez, Cubs 2003. Defense DOES matter – see Brandon Inge, WS 2006.

But I guess it doesn’t really matter to the MVP voters.

Are The Astros REALLY Lowering The 2007 Payroll???!!!

Wednesday, November 15th, 2006

Read THIS lil nugget from Brian McTaggart’s latest column in the Houston Chronicle:

“What’s for sure is teams have money to spend, thanks to record attendance, sky-high revenues and increased revenue sharing. Purpura expects a payroll next season in the upper $80 million, lower $90 million range, but likely not topping $100 million as it did last year when Roger Clemens signed in May.”

Yall catch that?
Teams have money to spend. Last year, the Astros, who have the 5th highest ticket prices in the majors according to SI, who had over 3 mill in attendence, are LOWERING the payroll. Last year’s payroll BEFORE Roger deigned to grace us with his 22 starts was approximately 95 mill.
McTaggart did not point this out, and I have not heard it mentioned on TV or radio and I would very much like to know what McLane’s excuse is for lowering payroll. He sure is sneaking that lil tidbit under the radar, hunh???!!!!!!

Look at this now…
“Perhaps Purpura’s biggest headache this offseason is deciding what to do at third base, where Morgan Ensberg, Aubrey Huff and Mike Lamb are in the mix. Ensberg had a miserable, injury-filled 2006, prompting a trade for Huff at midseason. Huff, who is younger and has better credentials than Ensberg, would like to return to the Astros, but at what price? Ensberg is arbitration eligible and figures to draw interest on the trade market.Purpura spoke last week with Seth Levinson, the agent for Huff, about possibly bringing him back in 2007, a move that would almost certainly signal an end to Ensberg’s days in Houston.”

Mo Ensberg was born Aug 26, 1975
Aubrey Huff was born December 20, 1976
We are talking 15 months younger at age 29 and 30, not exactly David Wright/Ryan Zimmerman there, and as a FA, Huff will be considerably more expensive. Non-tendering Mo would be about the stupidest thing Purpura could possibly do.

Besides, on exactly WHAT planet does Huff have “better credentials?” Certainly NOT with the glove – Huff ain’t exactly Aramis Ramirez with the glove, but Mo is an excellent fielder. I know Mo obviously got hurt at the beginning of May, but exactly why are we supposed to conclude he is definitely washed up and downgrade?

Check out Aubrey Huff’s career hitting stats.

Roy Oswalt Doesn’t Win The 2006 Cy Young

Tuesday, November 14th, 2006


Well, I’m not surprised. After all, when the sportswriters were talking about a trade for Tejada, they were discussing Roy PLUS Lidge, Ensberg and Everett. They still are wondering why on earth some pitcher in some non-east coast AL town would get more than a few mill a year at MOST…

I am seriously disgusted that a reliever who didn’t have an absolutely dominating year like Eric Gagne did in 2003 would receive TWELVE first place votes, while Roy Oswalt received only 2. Some sportswriter gave Billy Wagner a second place vote (no I am NOT joking) and both he and Saito (who? the Dodgers’ reliever) received a third place vote.

11/13/06: Lee-ve This Carlos Too

Monday, November 13th, 2006

Time to talk about Carlos Lee. Seems EVVERBODY wants to throw out Mo Ensberg, who, by the way, had the third best defensive numbers in the NL last year, install Aubrey Huff and sign Carlos Lee to play right. (If it’s left, that means Luke Scott in right, and he is HORRIBLE in right.) Now let’s remember that we play in the NATIONAL League, there’s NO DH and Mr. Lee is gonna get something like 5 years/75 mill. He turned down 4 years 62 mill from the Brewers, so it’s either the years, the mill/year or both. (Or the Brewers, but I’m too nice to say that…)

He’s 30, will be 31 in June, is 6’1 or 6’2″, depending on which stat sheet you read. He SEZ he’s 240, but he is at LEAST 40 pounds heavier – let’s be real here. We are talking Mo Vaughn size, you know. We are talking he got like 60 pounds too much on his knees and back. And there’s no saying he won’t get even fatter in a very short time because weight limits don’t get written into contracts…

Let’s check out his stats:

To summarize, he hits around .286/340/.488/.828 and drives in those all important 100 RBI a year, hits 24-32 HR/year and, surprisingly for such a big fat man, steals 12-19 bases a year and is CS only a few times. Let me be kind and say that is glove is, uh, barely adequate. Perhaps it won’t be so bad at the Box, as long as the CF can handle left center to the bullpen as well.

11/10/06: Astros New News, Old News and Same News

Friday, November 10th, 2006

Shock de la Shock, the Astros did NOT pick up Jeff Bagwell’s 18 mill option, but are paying him his 7 mill buyout. Much as I luuuvvv the boy, truth is:
1 – he’s been finished for a good two, probably three years now, and he really hasn’t played for 2 years, and
2 – playing him for old times’ sake in the WS was not exactly a good thing for the team. Yes I know that he didn’t lose it for us, the relievers did (yeah Brad, I’m talking to YOU.)

Unlike 05, Baggy wasn’t around this year. Not sure why, but I certainly hope he wasn’t miffed that he was put on the DL – his spring training at bats cost the Stros 15 mill in insurance money. Best I can tell, the Stros would like to get something for the 7 mill Baggy is getting this year – they would like him to instruct (ahem..) but he doesn’t seem to have any interest.

At least so far.

Not many guys can just walk away from baseball like that when they are WANTED in SOME capacity, but I guess Baggy really has said goodbye. For now, that is.
I did a retrospective on Baggy’s career for his birthday last year. Click here to read. with updated stats…
lifetime .297 BA
.408 OBP (#44 all time)
1402 walks (24th all time)
202 steals (72 % success)
TWO 30 – 30 seasons, which NO other first baseman has done in the history of baseball
449 HR (#33 all time – it was 28th just 18 months ago – sigh)
488 doubles (tied for #52 with Mel Ott and Harold Baines)
2314 hits,
1529 RBIs (tied for #41 with Tris Speaker)
1517 runs (#54 all time)
4213 total bases (58th all time)
lifetime 150 OPS+ which is #30 on the all-time list – tied with Nap Lajoie, Honus Wagner and Jason Giambi.
Speed:Power# – 278.64 – 28th all time

Biggio thinks he should be paid more than 4 mill for next year. Like Chris Burke wouldn’t be more than an adeequate replacement. Not sure why he thinks he deserves a raise, other than the fact that MLB is rolling in dough. I seriously doubt that his getting 3000 hits will exactly raise a lot of money for the team, or get much more than a paragraph in headlines outside Houston – after all, we’re not NY/Boston/Chicago/LA, so it didn’t count as much. Or something.

What makes me sad is that so many sportswriters who think that America ends west of Philly will say – well, Craig has 3000 hits, guess he should go in, and the rest of his incredible career will be ignored. He certainly is in the top ten second basemen of all time, and, I think, better than Ryne Sandberg. Craig needs 70 hits to reach 3000. He always has started off the year hot, and he tires as the year goes on – he WILL be 41, which is kind of old to be playing second full time, so hopefully, his appearances will be for home games after mid May. Anyhow, he will be signing a contract for right around 5 mill because he’s getting moren 4 and less than 6. He’ll sign before tomorrow because he does not want to declare FA.

I hear that the Stros are interested in obtaining Gary (ex-roider) Sheffield. Drayton McLane traded away Billy Wagner because he didn’t like Billy’s mouth and Billy is quiet and shy compared to Sheffield. Sheff would cost 13 mill for one year only (even though he SAYS he’s gonna cause a lot of unpleasantness if the team he’s traded to doesn’t immediately give him an extension.) Yeah I know that 5 mill of that is deferred, but it STILL has to be paid. He isn’t very good in right, but at least he’s bettern Luke Scott. Or even Aubrey Huff.

For all the complaints about Barry Lamar Himself, I really think there is no bigger jerk than Sheffield in the major leagues. In fact, I’d really MUCH rather sign Himself for a year – the guy was one of the ten top hitters in the NL last year, and especially if Roger doesn’t come back, we’ll need SOME draw and I would bet that Barry’s agent is right – Barry would mostly pay for Himself. (And as much as I appreciate Biggio, I disagree with John Lopez that Biggio’s run to 3000 hits will be a big draw – the 3000th hit might could be HERE IN HOUSTON, but I would be real surprised if it is anywhere else.)

And speaking of Himself, I am not real too happy about the way he is being portrayed as Satan by the Dallas writers. Jim Reeves speaks of the home run record as “hallowed.” Yes. You read that right. HALLOWED???!!! Excuse you Mr. Reeves, that is flat out blasphemy. To insist that a ballplayer is Satanic/Evil because he did drugs (like a WHOLE lot of other baseball players) or cheated on his wife/wives (which very few ballplayers do NOT do) or acted like a primadonna superstar (which is what he is) is just insulting to everyone. He is no more a “rat” that anyone else who is a pain in the ass ballplayer (like a WHOLE lot of them they know who they are…) I don’t wanna hear how I am excusing his behaviour. OK. I am saying that calling one ballplayer “Satan” for the same activities that a WHOLE lot of other ballplayers guilty of is pretty sick.

Enough Barry Lamar.
Back to Adam Everett. Check out what famous stat geek graph master Dave Studeman had to say about Adam in The Hardball Times: “And the real shame is that Adam Everett keeps getting snubbed by the Gold Gloves. Let me say this unequivocally: Adam Everett is the Ozzie Smith of our time. According to the Handbook, Everett made 43 more plays than the average shortstop last year; the Gold Glove winner, Omar Vizquel, made less than seven more. That’s a difference of almost 40 plays.”

Check out this article:
then scroll down to the graph on Adam Everett (sorry, I can’t reproduce that graph here with this particular software of this blog.)

I also remind yall that Adam gets most all of the popups to left and left center because most of the LF we have had out there are lousy and the 3B not named Mo Ensberg are lousy.

Last – I was checking AFL stats and found that Hunter Pence wasn’t playing. I thought maybe he might could have gotten hurt, but he wasn’t – he was suspended by the club for getting a DUI. There hasn’t been talk about this I’ve heard, but the guy IS our best prospect, so I would bet he is not gonna be released.

You don’t wanna hear the winter league stats on the pitchers. Taylor Buchholz was a total ace in a total hitters league last year, but unfortunately, none of this year’s pitchers have followed in his footsteps. I’ll talk about our minor leaguers who might could help us in 2007 in an upcoming entry.

Me, I don’t wanna talk about how Roger don’t know if he wanna pitch, how he is flattered that the Yanks and Red Sox still talk about him (and I am SO positive that he will not sign with either of them to play a FULL season starting in April 2007 that I promised Husband that if he does, I will agree to have another baby right away. And there it is in writing so he can’t say I’m weaseling out of it.)

Andy is pulling a Roger too – gee, HE don’t know if he wanna pitch neither. Well dudes, poopoo or get offn the potty. I’m sick of this act. Unless either of them signs with someone or gets caught doing something newsworthy, I refuse to even discuss them again.

There’s No Women In Baseball

Wednesday, November 8th, 2006

Yesss, it’s Da Boyz Club in MLB.
Grrrlz are icky poo!!!

Remember all the trouble earlier this year when G.O.B. Keith Hernandez got his undies in a twist when he saw the Padres assistant trainer in the dugout – you see that assistant trainer, uh, looked like a (gaaaak aaaak) female human and not a slut or Annie or Morganna or, or – well, he was REAL indignant – don’t no GRRRRRL belong in the dugout!!! Why ain’t she in the kitchen where she belong???? Seeing as how there are more female doctors than male ones and how there are LOTS of female athletic trainers, personal trainers and physical therapists, kinda amazing that there is only ONE female assistant trainer in the majors (and as far as I know, none in the minors neither.)

And as far as I know, there is exactly one female in baseball management – Assistant GM Kim Ng of the LA Dodgers. I know Pam Gardner is high up in the Astros Organization, (President of Business Operations) but it ain’t no Assistant GM position, that’s fer sher.

With all the open managerial positions, Assistant GM positions and possibly GM positions open, there STILL are exactly zero female candidates for any of these. And I would most certainly say that we are the MOST underrepresented minority group in management. There’s plenty of excuses like, um, well, females can’t boss males around. Or males won’t obey a female boss. Or athletes are used to, um, screwing females, not the other way around. Any excuse will serve a tyrant, hunh. But there are PLENTY of female contract lawyers out there (and this is a LOT of what Assistant GMs do) and PLENTY of female CPAs out there and there are TONS of female baseball fans out there so what is the excuse?

We just don’t understand how to talk to males?

Well, they haven’t never done it before so how would they know what to do?
Old fashioned prejudice, I say.

But you know, my Mama, she has a different reason why there aren’t any females even TRYING to get these positions. It’s called wisdom, she says. So she tells me the lil tale she and all her business friends luuuvvvv to tell….

One day while walking down the street, this would be highly successful baseball executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Stadium Gates by St. Owner.
“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Owner. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had a female executive make it this far and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me into the club,” said the woman.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have Higher Orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in.”
“Actually, I’ve already made up my mind…I prefer to stay in Baseball,” said the woman.
“Sorry, we have rules…”

And with that St. Owner put the executive in an elevator and it went down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the field of a beautiful ML ballpark. In the distance were the ballclub stadium offices and standing in front of her were all of her girlfriends and they were all dressed in AAGPBL unis and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about hitting stats, fielding stats, WARP3, Win Shares, UZR (and every other baseball letter grouping that we don’t know what it really stands for.) They played an excellent 9 inning game and at night they went to the club owners’ suites where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devselig who was actually a really nice guy once you got past the hair/horns and she had a great time telling stats and telling baseball stories. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody hugged her and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went back up to the Stadium Gates and she found St. Owner. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing, buying shoes, eating chocolates. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Owner came and got her.

“So, you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,” he said.
The woman paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I had a better time in Hell. It’s not I don’t luuuvvv music and shoes and chocolate, but I mean, all baseball all the time? It doesn’t get any bettern that.”

So St. Owner escorted her to the elevator and again she went back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland of a rookie league park covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in cleaning crew rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Seligula came up to her and put his arm around her. “Hello there, girlfriend. Welcome to your rightful place.”

“Bud, Bud, Bud, I don’t understand,” stammered the woman, “yesterday I was here and there was a ML ballpark and club suites and we ate lobster and we played baseball and talked stats and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”
The Devil looked at her and smiled. “Yesterday we were recruiting you.
Today you’re staff.”
- – - -
Now my Mama’s best friend – she got a slightly different story:
In the beginning, there was the Plan. NO FEMALES IN BASEBALL!!!
And then came the Assumptions. FEMALES CAN’T REALLY DO THIS!!!!!
And the Assumptions were without form,
And the Plan was without substance.
And darkness was upon the face of the Females
And they spoke among themselves saying, “It’s a crock of s**t, and it stinks.”

And the Females went unto the Managers and said, “It is a pail of dung, and we can’t live with the smell.”
And those Managers went unto the Assistant General Managers saying, “It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.”
And the AGMs went unto their GMs saying, “It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide it’s strength.”
And the GMs spoke among themselves, saying to one another, “It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong.”
And the GMs went to the Owners saying unto them, “It promotes growth, and it is very powerful.”
And the Owners went unto the Commissioner saying unto him, “This new plan will actively promote growth, and vigor of the ML with very powerful effects.”
And the President looked upon the Plan, and said that it was good,
And the Plan became Policy.
And THIS is how s**t happens.

Now my Daddy, he got still ANOTHER story – he says – baby girl you just can’t have no GRRRLZ walkin into the Executive Suites, cluttering up the Executive Office Paths. Lemme tell you a story to explain…

This General Manager was walking along a California beach deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud:
“Lord, grant me one wish.”

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.”

The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! The offense to the environment!! I can do it, but it is hard for Me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify Me.”

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women so I could really talk to them. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say ‘nothing’, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

The Lord replied, “So, yall want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?”

- moral of the story – if He can’t understand You People, what do you expect the poor GM to do?

So seems this is why there ain’t no females in baseball…